Today we’re making a post explaining the Egg prime directive here because a lot of people aren’t fully aware of what it means and a few people haven’t been following it. Today We will clear up some misconceptions about the egg prime directive. Explain why it is important, and also clarify that compliance with it here and on blahaj.zone is absolutely obligatory.
What is the Egg Prime Directive?
According to genderdysphoria.fyi the Egg Prime Directive is an “unspoken agreement between trans people not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans.” I have also heard it compared to the Prime Directive in Star Trek which is a rule prohibiting interference with the development of alien cultures. While we think these are great starting points they are flawed in that they lack the fine details a code of rules should. There’s a lot of fuzziness and uncertainty around it and what is or isn’t acceptable under it. Which is why we are here today. We are going to explain the nuances of the Egg prime directive as well as add our own very much desired amendments to our version of it to ensure that this community is a safe and respectful place towards all, questioning, trans, or otherwise.
Egg Prime Directive Details
On genderdysphoria.fyi they state that if a person is explicitly told they are trans it opens up ground for denial, it activates mechanisms that trigger internalized transphobia and make people psychologically resist and dismiss gender dysphoria. This is 100% true, but it does not tell the whole story, and leaves out quite a few of the negative effects of what can happen if people of any gender identity are called or accused of being eggs, or coerced to identify a certain way.
When people get called Eggs
The experience of being told by someone else that your gender is wrong, that you’re an egg, that your trans in denial can be extremely jarring or disheartening for many people, cis or trans. Depending on the situations it might even be scary or torturous. Some of the people who engage in so-called “egging” know how to take advantage of this and ask leading questions or taunt people in these situations who clearly aren’t comfortable. Contrary to what certain political figures have stated, such interactions will not turn a person trans or cause a trans person to stop being trans. They will also not “deeply confuse” people into getting gender affirming treatments. However Egging itself can cause psychological confusion, it can cause mental distress and make people doubt themselves. They may if they are trans slip further into denial, like what genderdysphoria.fyi said. If they are a cisgender person who is Gender-Nonconforming, they may doubt themselves or feel something is wrong with themselves for the way they identify, the way they present, or both combined. They may feel self-hatred. When Egging involves people who are nonbinary or genderfluid these effects can be made much worse, as most forms of egging are directly invalidating to the experiences of Nonbinary, and genderfluid people. In short there are a whole host of negative psychological effects associated with egging.
What is and isn’t “Egging”
There is a lot of confusion (some of it intentional misrepresentation) on what is and isn’t considered egging. Some people choose to believe it is lighthearted humor, others more disingenuously believe it is the act of explaining trans issues to a person.
Here though we are sharply and clearly defining Egging as:
The act of badgering, insisting, or telling a person that they are an egg, or trans in denial due to an expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match traditional gender stereotypes of the gender they currently identify as, or their apparent assigned gender at birth (AGAB).
Additionally actions meant to imply or insinuate this conclusion, or imply or insinuate disbelief in the person’s gender identification on the basis of their expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match gender stereotypes of the gender they identify as or their apparent AGAB, are also considered egging.
Finally, we consider any outward actions that refuse to acknowledge or respect the way a person chooses to identify themselves as indirect egging. As well as presumption that their identified gender is wrong.
While this may not account for every possible scenario a person has been called an egg in violation of the Egg Prime Directive, it is the one of the most common ones that happen.
Some examples include but aren’t limited to:
- Calling a gender non-conforming person an egg for wanting to have characteristics more in line with the opposite gender or be more androgynous.
- Calling a person an egg for playing a character in a video game with a gender or sex different to their own.
- Calling a person an egg for behaving or committing an action that goes against gender stereotypes.
Some people might consider telling another person that a person is or might be trans in denial to not be egging or to be permitted by the Egg Prime Directive, however we do not consider it to be. As it makes a presumption about a person’s gender different than how they identify, thus invalidating it. As well as an attempt to change people’s opinions about said person and/or the way they are treated by those people. Thus it is a violation of the Egg Prime Directive.
To sit down and offer support to a person explain to them the nature of gender identity, talk to them about your own gender identity. About what it means to be trans in general is not considered egging, and does not violate the egg prime directive. In fact this is considered supportive and affirming behavior.
To use the term “Egg” to describe your past self prior to coming out or identifying as trans is not a violation of the egg prime directive. It is the intended usage of the term.
Why does this matter?
The Egg Prime Directive matters because in a community dedicated to be a safe space for questioning people, people must feel safe to question. It also must be a safe space for anyone who is gender nonconforming, including many trans and nonbinary people. The act of Egging makes a space unsafe for these people, it means they have to tread lightly to avoid saying the wrong thing. It means their gender identity is up for questioning and debate by other people, and that is not a recipe for a safe space for people to question their gender and receive support and affirmation. In all likelihood spaces like that will lead to the opposite.
Enforcement of the Egg Prime Directive.
In Egg_irl it is obligatory that you follow the Egg Prime Directive. Violations are not permitted, under any circumstances. People who are found to be violating the Egg Prime Directive, excuse blatant violations of it, or encourage others to violate or otherwise not follow it, will receive moderator action. In all cases the offending content will either be removed entirely, or it may be locked as a public demonstration. Depending on the severity the offending user may be banned temporarily or permanently from the community.
Users permanently banned for violation of the Egg prime directive will also be entirely excommunicated from the egg_irl community. This may seem harsh, but since reddit.com/r/egg_irl has been all but destroyed by egging, it is necessary to maintain a safe space here. Do not violate our trust and faith in you and it will not be an issue.
Closing thoughts
While this was a bit of a long one I hope I was able to get across the importance of the Egg Prime Directive to people. I hope I was able to help people understand the kinds of behaviors that are unacceptable.
If you have any questions or feedback you’d like to add, please leave a comment. If I explained something wrong or if something came across wrong to you please let me know so I can hopefully correct it.
Removed by mod
Your comment was removed because it seemed to come across as encouraging egging.
No, it does not. For starters this is a common assumption that people make which is that they wish they had been told earlier without fully understanding how they would react. I can almost guarantee that a reaction like "UwU are you Suuuuuure? That’s not very cis of you 🥚🏳️⚧️ " Would not have been as helpful then as it feels like it would’ve been now. But even if you think it would be, that doesn’t mean it isn’t harmful to others. No one has a easy way of knowing that and frankly I don’t think it’s worth it to find out hard way. Many people say it’s “no big deal” to be wrongfully called an egg, but that’s the same as saying “sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you”. This was addressed in the post. Your situation is an anecdote and doesn’t actually disprove the harm egging has caused and continues to cause, just because you feel you’re an exception.
Now if you’re talking about calm and rational discussion to help someone discover themselves, that’s not considered egging. And it is encouraged. The egg prime directive does encourage affirming and therapeutic interventions. The only thing it discourages is defying another person’s gender identification.
You are allowed to share your experiences, what is not allowed is direct or indirect encouagement or apologia of egging. Your comment seemed vague enough that it could’ve been egging apologia, but equally could’ve been not so I erred on the side of caution, I was fully prepared to appeal and restore the decision but since you decided to attack the Egg Prime Directive, and attempt to unilaterally disprove it using your own personal anecdotes, you’ve made your intentions clear, this decision stands.
I don’t really appreciate you publishing part of a message I sent you in private. Also, you’re misrepresenting my arguments and intentions. I shared my experience because your post implies that people like me don’t exist or matter. I never denied the harm it can cause if someone acts like they know more about someone’s identity than they do. Which is ironic because in your comment you’re implying you know more about my trans journey than I do.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, just to be clear we’re not trying to directly or implicitly claim that people like you do not exist. This post simply states that everyone here regardless of their personal opinion about being personally called an egg, is expected and required to treat everyone else with the same level of respect and not do it to others.
Uh… “It disproves the main assumption of the directive, that it’s always harmful to tell someone they might be trans.” yeah what do you call this then. Sure seems like trying to deny the merit of the egg prime directive to me, based on personal anecdote no less.
Just for clarification when I said that it isn’t likely your past self would find egging, I am not trying to say or imply that I know you or your journey better than you do. I have an understanding that most people tend to react differently than they think they would by virtue of lacking the knowledge and memories then that they have now. I apologize if I came off as presuming your identity.
Nevertheless, your message does carry a certain amount of adversarial tones, which do not inspire confidence that you will follow this rule, as you spent as much time as you could trying to debate the merit of it. The fact is that this rule isn’t up for debate, the Egg Prime Directive isn’t a suggestion or a guideline It very much carries the same weight and force here as law. Just like transmedicalism and transmisogyny are unacceptable, egging is too. In all honesty I have shown a lot of leeway with you I haven’t with others. If someone came apologizing for transmedicalism in a similar way, they would’ve been banned yesterday. Though I guess the difference is that there is a strong precedent for banning people for transmed apologia, but much less when it comes to banning people for egging apologia.
That’s totally fair and valid, but sometimes there is no way of knowing where someone is along their trip of self discovery. No two situations are the same, but this advice is something that has been developed over many years of trying to reduce pain as much as possible.
I have several objections towards the way the egg directive is used and worded, maybe someday I’ll write them out completely.
Mostly has to do with the fact the harm it’s supposed to prevent can also be prevented by just following the human decency of not assuming you know someones identity better than they do. Plus the fact that the way the directive is brought up often scares trans people out of sharing when they relate with something. And then there’s the fact that in this cisnormative world everyone is constantly assumed to be cis which is never called out the same way as when someone assumes a person is trans.
Unfortunately we live in a world where common decency and mutual respect towards others isn’t second nature to everyone. If we did, we wouldn’t need to have any rules like this at all. People would just understand it’s wrong and never do it.
Sharing when one relates to something is good, telling someone it’s “not cis” to do that isn’t. It goes down that path of forcing labels onto others because you wish it happened to you sooner. Also can come off as enforcing gender stereotypes, as if to imply it’s more likely a person might be a different gender than that they can be themselves and break gender stereotypes.
It is unfortunate and frankly isn’t a good thing either to assume people are cis by default. However I should point out that the reason why these egg situations are considered harmful and violate the egg prime directive, are because they are directly going against and challenging a person’s identification. In all honestly if someone were to challenge a trans woman and argue she’s just a cis femboy who really likes being feminine that would also be bad for very similar reasons. Though we don’t say this is an egg prime directive violation, we say it’s transphobia. Egg Prime Directive focuses on the unacceptable challenging of another person’s identity, which is why we push back on such aggressive assumptions, and frankly we also push back on assuming trans women are cis as that is transphobic. Cis-by-default is a bigger issue and one that we’re not going to solve easily, but because identification is important and people deserve to have their autonomy respected, you must respect people assuming themselves to be cisgender.