Password Strength xkcd

Or Malbolge

I actually have forgotten and it’s bothering me.

I’ve had a habit for 10+ years. One day I just forgot, and it was weeks later when I thought “didn’t I use to do something at this time?”

I never managed to get that habit back.

I don’t even get the sense of relief. I could stop 1 second short of finishing and feel no difference.

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I got diagnosed with laziness in school.

Many years later, another doctor looked at the diagnosis and said that the first doctor had written down textbook symptoms then missed the diagnosis.

The word lazy still hurts today.

Have you ever seen a professional marathon runner reach the finish line first and then start jumping with joy? You may see some celebration, but mostly exhaustion.

It’s the same with mental effort. If you’ve been working yourself to exhaustion, it’s really hard to feel anything positive. A short rest just isn’t enough to fix chronic exhaustion.

I was always told I was lazy when growing up. It took more than 10 years for me to realise that I was never lazy. I was hitting my limit, then working myself to exhaustion just trying to keep up with everyone else. I’ve had to learn to slow down and accept that there are some things I can’t do (without consequences). Even now I find myself occasionally making the wrong decision because of past trauma and overworking myself before I realise and have to stop myself.

Even if this advice doesn’t work for you, there is still hope. My heart goes out to you in this tough time.

You are a valid person. What you do does not define your worth. You are enough.

Research “body doubling”. It’s the only way I get important tasks at home done.

I read through seeming endless logs from a battle simulation and used these log to improve the accuracy of the simulation. It may seem like tedious work not fitting of a Klingon warrior, but now our brothers and sisters will be more prepared with a fair simulation as they train FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!