I have insurance, but pay out-of-pocket anyway. There is a theoretical path to get it covered, but not worth the hassle, as long as the meds help me generate the money.

I guess that can happen when you are a type who gets calm from stims? Also, I think it’s the “high” you acclimate to, but, at least in theory, the medical effect targeting ADHD symptoms could work the same.

Coworkers are puzzled why you are sometimes a smelly, grumpy mess. This is probably how daily shower makes it into “productivity advice”.

the answer is always more

This is going to be wilder than I thought. 12 hours in, still legs shaking and eyes wide open. I even made a fruit and raw veggie plate instead of binge eating candy at night, omg!

I feel like a raver with a plate of apple slices.

Plus side: Still killing it with the todos.

Why, what happened?

Exactly what happened! It ran empty yesterday, so today was the “wing it and re-stack” day.

I have one. It’s pretty crucial. But yesterday, it ran out, so today, I have to “wing it”.

How true. I see my lack of trust in others as health, but raise you: Old vices.

I avoid many such problems by using a calendar with loud, obnoxious, early reminders, but last month, I had a lot going on. A medical appointment was on the 16th at 15:00, and my head just couldn’t process that.

The reminder came, and I looked, but could only see the “16” from the date, which was bigger than the appointment time. Didn’t even question it, just thought: “Stupid phone, remind me an hour early, not two! Stop making noises!”

Well, I missed it.

My ex wife got into pretty serious psychiatric problems over time, and I still think that she would have a completely different life and past now if she had managed to keep up her weekly appointment at a great clinic with psychologists and psychiatrists, which she was lucky to get at the very start, 6 years before it went really downhill. Another missed appointment for a physical thing got her into the ER and intensive care overnight.

Same if I had been diagnosed back then and could have managed such things for her.

If only there were a way to keep a song “fresh” forever, while also listen to it all the time!

I’d live in a state of eternal bliss. I’d take brain surgery for this. Or some kind of selective amnesia drug, which still allows to form the memory of the blissful state without the changes in the brain that we know as over-listening.

More realistically, maybe an AI that finds a song that is like that for me? Current algorithms really don’t help much at all, even for finding “ok” songs. It must be a complex, individual thing, based on unique events and emotions and their associations. Sometimes it appears to be a song I heard before, and it didn’t invoke anything back then, often decades ago, but the brain somehow built something around that impression that lit up like a Christmas tree when it played again.

I also wonder if I’ll keep finding songs like this, or if one of them will be the last.

Implementation intention can also be a good thing, though.

Starting at 6:00 is better than trying to force it “right now”, failing, and doing nothing. Or exerting more willpower and pain than necessary.

Occasionally I have that friend, yes, but I think most of them just endure my autistic unload, be it out of politeness, to unload theirs, or because they just don’t mind that much.

In my current phase in life, it’s too much for everybody :-)

I always underestimate how much there is to do. “Oh just laundry and that form basically, two things. Picking up the package should be clear. No list needed, easy day!”

Then, when I really don’t make a list, I don’t even do these three things. When I do make a list, it’s many, many more things, but a higher chance to do several of those.

And yes, when I don’t check it off from the list, and be it by adding just to check it off, it feels like I did nothing.

Yes, but they are starting to improve on that. 2 years ago, you could have a lot of fun with prompts like “draw a room with absolutely no elephants in it”.

Definitely know that problem. Sometimes, I use just one term in lack of a better one that I’m not entirely happy with, and the LLM completely pinpoints on that and never lets go.

I call the problem “tuskification”. Because that one time, I discussed walrusses. And later in the same conversation, I had some other things drawn, entirely unrelated, many exchanges later. And somehow, it influenced all of that. E. g. there was a hamster in a cage as a small part of the drawing, and it had tusks. Or a thirsty lost person in a desert, you guessed it: Has tusks.

Got me to be like: Nonono, just draw completely normal people, who have absolutely no tusks! You wouldn’t believe the nightmare it drew after that. Apparently it interpreted it as: Humanoids whose faces resemble proboscidae from a time before they developed a full trunk and tusks.

Even more absurd when they reach this sad state: Too dirty to wear, not dirty enough to wash.

Similar to old-ish things in the fridge that are not completely spoiled, so I can’t throw them out, but they are already too unappetising to be eaten right now.

omg, what an absurd use of this meme …

Interesting. I absolutely need the list. If I get into the unfortunate situation to start a day without having the list already, I have to use 100 % of my willpower to just make a list. I have to tell myself: “You can eat a whole cake and watch videos for 2 hours if you just MAKE the list. Don’t actually have to do anything on it.”

Tell me how it went. I’m curious if it’s the best of all methods, or just what works for me.