Not in ten fucking years though.

Fucking Tim Apple will be the death of us all.

Writing regex is easy.

Reading it again after a couple of weeks…

ffmpeg command lines are straight up black magic.

Anyone who understands them is not to be trusted.

It’s even worse than tar.

Unfortunately that ten percent is probably most people on here.

Depends if you’re centering the div or the things in the div. Which has probably been the main issue since CSS was invented.

“Can we jazz it up a bit?”

This is a real request from a real manager. They have played us for absolute fools.

Many of our customers store their backups in our “cloud storage solution”.

I think they’d be rather less impressed to see the cloud is in fact a jumble of PCs scattered all around our office.

If you’re not using Notepad, I don’t even know what to tell you.

My main issue with JS is you can use it wrong, and it pretends to work, and often looks like it works.

But then shits its pants explosively the second you fall outside that.

Good old JS, because exceptions are a sin.

We all know what it is.

Which is why my local water treatment plant built a brand new pipe so they can dump directly into the river rather than the local nature reserve.

I’m so glad we privatised that…

I had the point near the beginning of the file thing once and it was a really shitty file that only VLC could seek in.

ffmpeg fixed it, but I’ve no idea how because ffmpeg command lines are some arcane black magic shit.

Oh I’m sure their new “efficiency” overlord will just love that.

I once asked somebody for a spreadsheet (they were trying to import the data into my software and it was failing), and got back a .doc file containing a screenshot of Excel running the spreadsheet.

I was in awe of how somebody could misuse so many pieces of software at once.

Indeed. What you are looking for is a spreadsheet.

Don’t overcomplicate things.

I haven’t deployed new code since last Monday.

In this house, we do not take chances.

Although one of my team had an unfortunate incident with a live customer database and the SQL standards committee’s long running practical joke of not requiring a WHERE clause as part of an UPDATE statement… So that was some Thursday morning excitement for us.

The rules will really change when the first billionaire on a private jet gets taken out by a DIY suicide drone.

Nah, he just purchased the world’s biggest megaphone from which he could propel his ketamine fuelled opinions into the deep uncaring void of the internet.