One of the friends I’ve made in an LGBT group in a small town in Ohio is transmasc nonbinary. On T for almost a year and getting top surgery soon.

They felt quite like you did, not entirely sure where they fell, and as they put it, “trying to find a neat little them-shaped hole to fit in. But there is no them-shaped hole, they had to find a spot on the spectrum that felt right and make the hole themselves.”

I’m not sure if that’s helpful to you at all, but I myself have been wrestling with my identity for some time, recently settling on being trans but still filled with doubt and uncertainty (super phobic religious upbringing really hindered me here), but after an outing recently where I was about 65% girlmoding that felt more right than anything I am more certain of my identity than ever.

It can take some time, but you’ll get there!

The LGBT group sometimes organizes “takeover days” of the local city pool where everyone dresses in their gender-affirming clothing to have a pool day. I’ve been looking at swimwear because I really really wanna go but I don’t want anything poking out, and the tucking swimwear I’ve found is expensive AF.

I wanna fast forward to wearing normal swimwear😭 but for now I’ll just deal with what I can. Even flared skirts have been a gamble as I’m still improving my methods.

Thanks for all the info, it’s been really great asking people further along their journey about things.

Thanks! 😊I have a few more clothing items arriving today and tomorrow and I’m hoping to hang out with some of the LGBT group again later this week so I’ll be FULLY girlmoding for a good chunk of at least one day this week!

Omg that is fantastic to hear!

You have no idea how much that makes me happy since it’s something I’ve been concerned about. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

I wish I grew up in a larger city with a larger, more accepting crowd, then I might have found myself sooner.

But no point dwelling on what I can’t change and look forward to what I can!

Like voice training… Lol. I have always hated my deep voice.

I’ve briefly looked at what orchiectomy entails before, but from my understanding, if I go that route with hormones, I will not be able to use my equipment with my spouse, and we would both like to keep that ability.

Of course for now most of that is hypothetical without funding, but fingers crossed for the future! 😊

Yeah, I know a couple women who don’t like talking about their current situation, so I try to be respectful of others boundaries.

I took a quick look at their page and I like what I see, and it’s not much more than I was expecting to spend honestly.

In the morning I will have to go do some measurements, I am woefully neglecting my sleep…

Thanks for the response!

Who doesn’t like having their Pro-State destroyed?

Hey now, that’s not fair.

its not always the same thing XP

Oof, I have been brushing my hair while dry basically the entire three years I have been growing it out. It is definitely a frizzy mess usually. Today it was almost manageable! I haven’t been doing my new routine for very long.

I have very dry scalp, and issues with dandruff usually. My scalp tends to get a little itchy after 2-3 days, even with moisturizing shampoos.

I will skip the shampoo for a little bit and see how long it takes for dandruff or anything to appear.

Thanks for the tips!

totally stoked for you and your ¿wife?

We have still been using our old terms of husband/wife and mom/dad (the latter mostly by my wife, when speaking to our dogs since we do not have children) but haven’t really had the discussion of whether we want to use other words.

I have been using “spouse” for the most part lately, as they have only in the past month or so settled on NB. They got super excited when their they/them pin got here from an Etsy store.

It’s been quite the Rollercoaster of emotions today, thank you for the positive vibes 😊

Here’s the thing that pisses me off most: in highschool I had the range of a soprano and sang in choir, did musical theater. Over the few years after graduating my voice dropped lower and I couldn’t hit the high notes anymore (and nobody I knew would understand why that made me cry)

I enjoy singing, and do so in the shower every day, but my range is low tenor nowadays.

Maybe I need to find songs that I like that are just ever so slightly too high to be comfortable?

Idk but whatever works, I DO want to have the voice I imagine in my head. I just have a breakdown any time I sit down and try to practice.

Thank you so much for replying, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with the question or it’s phrasing.

I’m glad to hear it should be better than what I currently have!

Sorry for the long rambling post everyone, I’m just feeling a lot of emotions right now and have a lot of things racing all over my brain.

And also sorry for the early edit, I wanted to add a little extra context, I accidentally misgendered my spouse (we’re still both doing it to each other and luckily neither of us are getting upset yet), and rephrase some things.

I have been looking for things to help me with my fashion sense, how to measure everything properly, and how to style my hair and make it more curly.

I am far too self-conscious to try voice training right now, I literally cried last time I tried it because it’s just so deep and if I just don’t think about it when I talk to people I am mostly okay. I also don’t have the funds (or a job currently) to start my transition, so it’s basically just the clothing and some bra inserts for the foreseeable future.

Content warning: skip if you don’t want to hear about dysphoria-inducing things.

All u need to do is push the “stuff” down so it’s like horizontal and underneath if u get what I mean. No tape tucking required! U will get used to the feeling of this kind of “tucking” with time, and honestly at this point I feel uncomfortable when I’m not tucked down there.

I have a bit of a personal question, so PLEASE feel free to not answer:

I’m a grower, not on hrt (yet) and almost nothing short of taping has worked more than about half an hour, except a single pair of panties I have that’s a little too small in the legs for my thighs. And taping every day is not only expensive but probably also not healthy for everything. Tape keeps it all smooth and in place. The underwear leaves enough space that the girls shift around and cause a bulge to appear and I can not only feel it but I can see it every time I step even if nobody else notices.

So I’ve been on the lookout for something to help me out there.