Jokes on you Mrs. Witch. Most of my dysphoria comes from being way too far on the “boy” side of things as an enby. What you really just cursed me with is as an Ace person making my partner a good 10-20x more physically attracted to me. xD

I know if I ever were to actually go on HRT that I wouldn’t be able to afford it. It’s a moot point for my partner and I though because we’ve had all the kids we’re going to. The pregnancy that gave us our twins was… Let’s call it rough and neither of us was willing to go through that again.

So in that case literally the only difference to the wannabe grandparent is “oh no what if my grandchild isn’t conceived by my child having sex” which is just creepy.

This is literally part of why I cut off all contact with my father. My partner had a kid already when we got together. My father never really treated him like “real family” which pissed me off and I told him many times in no uncertain terms that as far as I was concerned this kid is my son and I will not tolerate any different treatment. Fast forward a couple years to the birth of my twins and I overhear this shit stain on the phone with my Mom who had come up to help me watch my oldest so I could actually visit the twins in the NICU say “How does it feel to finally be a grandma?”

Now to my Mom’s credit, she was having none of that shit. My partner and I had been together for over 4 years, married for almost 2 at this point. So she straight up tells him that she’s been a grandmother for years now. To which he responds “You know what I mean. You’ve finally got a grandkid of your own.” The fucker doubled down!

So I text him absolutely furious. I cry a lot when I’m angry so texting was the only way I was making it through what I needed to say. Plus receipts, he couldn’t claim to not remember me telling him like he’s done before. Anyway this motherfucker has the audacity to demand I call him so he knows that my partner wasn’t the one saying these things for me. I haven’t spoken to him in 5 years now.

Oh yeah I know matrilineal cultures exist. It just amuses me how internally inconsistent their ideology is. You can tell they just kind of worked backwards from “Men are the top of the hierarchy,” and has built their mythos around it.

I’m sorry, yeah I’m aware that it doesn’t necessarily make you permanently infertile. I was saying that for most normies that don’t know any better their gut feeling is that it does.

If they’re the type of person to lament the ending of their bloodline like this? 1,000% they’d throw the same kind of tantrum at anything that meant you weren’t gonna “continue the family name” for them. Perhaps less intense because vasectomies can be reversed but the gut feeling from most people I’ve talked to is that HRT permanently sterilizes you.

Side note, I never understood that whole paternalistic model of family structure. Like, I understand that it arose because patriarchal society and such, but you’d think that the female children would be the ones “continuing the bloodline” if anything right? The baby is literally growing inside of them connected to her blood supply. Mitochondrial DNA is passed from the mother’s side. Like you’d think someone concerned with continuing their bloodline would want a girl right? But no.

I was about to ask exactly this. What do you think the odds are on that “trans” employee just being a cis woman that’s just like… Kind of butch? I can’t tell you how often transphobes have harassed her for “being in the wrong bathroom” because she’s 5’10" (~178cm) with an undercut and wide shoulders.

Not even just presence. The mere thought of our existence is a threat. Joanne seems absolutely terrified that any random woman she sees has even the remotest chance of being a cis passing trans woman and therefore a sexual assault of her waiting to happen. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous it sounds. That genuinely seems to be her fear.

I’m suddenly reminded of that video where Jordan Peterson starts bawling about the “butchers” that “mutilated” Elliott Page.

Sure do love how to these fuckers all trans girls are groomers and all trans boys are poor innocent girls that are getting groomed into chopping off their breasts. Sure isn’t exhausting at all.

That feel when you can’t remember where you put a thing that you specifically put away to not lose it, but you can remember the exact location down to the millimeter of a thing you saw once a month ago.

The proprioception thing is interesting because it’s also linked to things like ADHD and autism along with other sensory processing difficulties.

For me, my own poor proprioception actually feeds into my dysphoria on its own because it feels like somebody hit me with the Scale tool in Blender and added like 2 inches to all my bodily dimensions. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just barely smacked my head or hands on things or kicked furniture and how much frustration it has caused me with this damned flesh prison.

If I had to guess I’d say it’s based on the Fairly Oddparents episode where Timmy becomes a girl for a day and spends time with Trixie trying to figure out what she wants for her birthday.

Yes, but keep in mind you have to balance this against not tolerating bad actors who will prey upon your understanding. I’ve met plenty of “slow and dumb” people who really just have no intention of ever getting it right and make no effort to do so while claiming that they’re trying their best. It takes wisdom to recognize the difference.

Some people take baby steps to come to your side, others need to be dragged kicking and screaming to the correct side.

I remembered myself hearing about some interview where she said something similar. Went looking for it and found a Vanity Fair interview from 2006 where she says:

I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George. I took too many drugs to remember.

When asked about how she got cast in Star Wars back in the day. So not enough to say she got directly extorted sex for the role, or just happened to be sleeping around and whoever she slept with went “Damn, she’d be great in this movie.”

I definitely feel you there. I used to joke that I was so bad at being a man that I got fired for incompetence. But even having identified as nonbinary for like 10 years now it’s hard not to feel like I’m an imposter that just heard “man bad” one too many times and did a transgender about it.

At some point my dumb thembo ass is just going to have to accept that I’ve somehow accidentally found myself in a lesbian relationship. It seems like every other day I scroll past some Yuri manga meme or some other lesbian relationship meme that hits way too close to home. Heck, I feel like half of them are posted by you! xD

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started accidentally info dumping about some nerd shit to my wife only to hear “Yer cuuuuuuuuute” in a voice I can only describe as what I imagine the :3 smiley sounds like.

ETA: I was just thinking back on this more and I just remembered that my wife and I were long distance initially and the second time we ever met in person was when she moved from South Dakota to New York and picked me up in a U-Haul so we could move into our new place… I’m literally living the damn “What does a lesbian bring to the second date?” joke…

For me it was just a general feeling of “wrongness” mostly. Like cramming yourself into shoes that are just a little too small. You’re acutely aware that it’s uncomfortable and that it doesn’t feel right, but it’s your whole body.

In my case I think those feelings were aggravated by my ADHD. There’s this sense called proprioception that is knowing where your body is and how it’s moving without looking that many people with ADHD or autism often struggle with. It’s one of the things that contributes to that stereotype of the “ADHD Walk” where we’re constantly running into, getting caught on, or tripping over things more typical people seem top just instinctively avoid.

So not only did just the state of being a boy feel wrong, and I hated the things that came with this box everyone had put me in. But my whole body felt clumsy and like it was a few inches too big in every dimension. Which only reinforced that this person I saw in the mirror every day just wasn’t Me.

I didn’t even do sports between asthma, bad ankles, and sunlight triggered migraines. Puberty just hit me like a train.

Same, I’m built like a fridge doing Bigfoot cosplay.

As a nonbinary person myself I feel it’s none of my business what configuration of self another individual needs to feel “right” inside. I can also understand the impulse even from other trans people to think that one might be being disingenuous. It wasn’t that long ago that my identity was the one “making fun of trans people” for just wanting to exist in a way that makes me happy.

The problem is that even if the “most extreme” identities that bigots are using to justify their hate didn’t exist it’s not like the hate will actually stop. They’ll just start lying about the next “most fringe” identity.

The one that got me when I was still undiagnosed still infuriates me to this day.

You just need to apply yourself more.

I tried that and went from a 90 average slacking off to a 92 burning myself out “applying myself” in place of any activity that brought me joy.