Yes, but keep in mind you have to balance this against not tolerating bad actors who will prey upon your understanding. I’ve met plenty of “slow and dumb” people who really just have no intention of ever getting it right and make no effort to do so while claiming that they’re trying their best. It takes wisdom to recognize the difference.

Some people take baby steps to come to your side, others need to be dragged kicking and screaming to the correct side.

I remembered myself hearing about some interview where she said something similar. Went looking for it and found a Vanity Fair interview from 2006 where she says:

I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George. I took too many drugs to remember.

When asked about how she got cast in Star Wars back in the day. So not enough to say she got directly extorted sex for the role, or just happened to be sleeping around and whoever she slept with went “Damn, she’d be great in this movie.”

I definitely feel you there. I used to joke that I was so bad at being a man that I got fired for incompetence. But even having identified as nonbinary for like 10 years now it’s hard not to feel like I’m an imposter that just heard “man bad” one too many times and did a transgender about it.

At some point my dumb thembo ass is just going to have to accept that I’ve somehow accidentally found myself in a lesbian relationship. It seems like every other day I scroll past some Yuri manga meme or some other lesbian relationship meme that hits way too close to home. Heck, I feel like half of them are posted by you! xD

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started accidentally info dumping about some nerd shit to my wife only to hear “Yer cuuuuuuuuute” in a voice I can only describe as what I imagine the :3 smiley sounds like.

ETA: I was just thinking back on this more and I just remembered that my wife and I were long distance initially and the second time we ever met in person was when she moved from South Dakota to New York and picked me up in a U-Haul so we could move into our new place… I’m literally living the damn “What does a lesbian bring to the second date?” joke…

For me it was just a general feeling of “wrongness” mostly. Like cramming yourself into shoes that are just a little too small. You’re acutely aware that it’s uncomfortable and that it doesn’t feel right, but it’s your whole body.

In my case I think those feelings were aggravated by my ADHD. There’s this sense called proprioception that is knowing where your body is and how it’s moving without looking that many people with ADHD or autism often struggle with. It’s one of the things that contributes to that stereotype of the “ADHD Walk” where we’re constantly running into, getting caught on, or tripping over things more typical people seem top just instinctively avoid.

So not only did just the state of being a boy feel wrong, and I hated the things that came with this box everyone had put me in. But my whole body felt clumsy and like it was a few inches too big in every dimension. Which only reinforced that this person I saw in the mirror every day just wasn’t Me.

I didn’t even do sports between asthma, bad ankles, and sunlight triggered migraines. Puberty just hit me like a train.

Same, I’m built like a fridge doing Bigfoot cosplay.

As a nonbinary person myself I feel it’s none of my business what configuration of self another individual needs to feel “right” inside. I can also understand the impulse even from other trans people to think that one might be being disingenuous. It wasn’t that long ago that my identity was the one “making fun of trans people” for just wanting to exist in a way that makes me happy.

The problem is that even if the “most extreme” identities that bigots are using to justify their hate didn’t exist it’s not like the hate will actually stop. They’ll just start lying about the next “most fringe” identity.

The one that got me when I was still undiagnosed still infuriates me to this day.

You just need to apply yourself more.

I tried that and went from a 90 average slacking off to a 92 burning myself out “applying myself” in place of any activity that brought me joy.

Don’t know how to tell you this, but I think that means your boyfriend is actually a woman. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

I joke. In all seriousness though, you can be straight and have a dynamic that’s more typically seen in Yuri manga. My partner and I joke all the time that we’re so straight it looped all the way back around to being gay again. We’re technically “straight” too, but I’m asexual and nonbinary, while she’s gay as the day is long. I can’t tell you how many Yuri memes I’ve sent her with the caption “look, it us” because it’s absolutely something one of us would have done.

That’s my point though. None of the people who keep commenting these things seem to give any thought to the possibility that the person saying they’re scared might not be able to actively resist. It never seems to be “if you’re able, you could try A, B, C. If not, then X, Y, Z, might help you stay safe.” It always seems to come off as them saying “Oh, you’re scared? Fight back then lol.”

What part of I care for multiple disabled family members and live in poverty did you miss? Yeah I can totally afford the financial upheaval of a strike or to get arrested or injured protesting. I’m sure my spouse can handle things without me.

I just hope the pseudotumor doesn’t act up and cause her to have a seizure at an unfortunate time. Or maybe it’ll be one of the ones where she temporarily loses a random chunk of her life and she won’t remember who they are or why she’s there that’d be fun.

Thank you. It gets so tiring seeing these people constantly shouting “WhY ARen’t YOu FIGhtinG bAck?” Whenever someone expresses fear about what’s been happening. Oh I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m a little preoccupied wondering how my family and I are going to fucking survive the next four years in the first place.

My wife’s disabled, we’ve got multiple autistic kids, my health isn’t the greatest, I’m trans but luckily I can still play cis. We can only afford to live because my wife gets Social Security Disability, and we have Medicaid and SNAP. All things they’re certainly going to be targeting. Yeah we’ll likely be shielded from some of the worst of this living in a blue state but I’m not sure how much even that’s going to protect us anymore.