FRYD

Make a list, do the first thing you put on it. I figure whatever I think of first is what I subconsciously want to do most and anything is better than nothing.

I stopped caring about “getting my life together”. All it means to me is being a nice little cog in the soul crushing machine. I take care of the absolute minimum on a day by day basis and use what’s leftover to have fun and do what I want to. I figure by the time it catches up to me, the world will have really gone to shit. If somehow the state of things actually improve, either it’ll be a world that treats people with adhd better or I’ll go out on my own terms.

You mentioned drinking. Did you drink a lot in the past? I’m no expert, but my understanding is that heavy drinking creates fat around your abdominal organs which is harder to work off. It’s also possible you put on a bit of water weight from creatine if you used that while working out. I don’t know the best way to quickly work either case off, but it should fade over time if you exercise regularly and avoid or limit those substances.

Regardless of those thoughts, the best advice would come from asking your doctor.

Yeah, I grew up with parents that didn’t believe in adhd despite my diagnosis and they were pretty harsh. I got bullied at school too, but my school was really big so I just got exiled to the group of other adhd kids and still had plenty of friends. Im definitely fucked up from it all, but I think I’ve grown a lot and learned about managing it and have become way better at giving emotional support than my parents.

So, I think I still want to have kids. My main hesitation is just my current financial situation as well as the generally bleak outlook of the world. Hopefully by the time I decide I’m stable enough to have kids, things will be better.