Fiona

I mean, I’m completely down to misgendering or dehumanizing transphobes who do it first.

But that kind of situation aside, and cases where people do it without malicious intent (you example can also be because they think they misgendered you at first and are now trying wrongly trying to correct themselves) because they just genuinely guessed wrong aside, it’s almost always transphobia.

Now there is one other case that is a bit special: Intentional misgendering of people independent of their trans status: This can for example happen in pep talk in sports, if a couch refers to the members of the boy’s team as “girls” or when someone ironically refers to a group of men as “ladies”. This is not generally speaking transphobic, but it can be potentially be sexist.

To give an example: At the start of my previous job (before covid and before I transitioned), I was talking with my boss about alcohol and that I prefer cocktails. Apparently the same holds for her boyfriend and she refered to us as “the girls” over this. Nowadays when I tell that story, I like to joke that “if [her boyfriend] wants to have a private conversation with me, I’m definitely available for that”.

Firstly, if it’s at all an option, consider moving to a less transphobic country. Not just for care-coverage, but for your safety in general.

Secondly I’d say that DIY-HRT is far less sketchy than people make it out to be. The fact of the matter is that, especially if you can get blood-tests, it’s not too hard to interpret the results and that many of the side-effects that everyone fear-mongers about aren’t even applicable, because they are for example only if you take blockers-only or historically used horse-piss-E instead of bio-identical E, which is what everyone uses these days…

If you can get HRT though the medical system that’s good, but don’t be afraid of DIY-ing!

EDIT: it does have a warning for male use only so in the mtf area it might be a bad Idea. Do the research, ask your doc, and I hope you get a badass head of hair.

Nah, if anything Finasteride is better for transfems than for cis men: A lot of the potential negative side-effects become potential pleasant surprises for us; some of the concerns regarding depression remain, but generally speaking it’s a relatively safe bet for people who don’t want to take T-blockers (yet).

That said: Proper T-blockers are the much more comprehensive solution and usually make Finasteride superfluous, so the primary argument against it in our case is honestly, that it tends to be a better choice to go all the way from the beginning. Even for people who can’t get a prescription, DIY (→ /c/diyhrt) is usually still the better decision.

I see erininthemorning.com and the title and I upvote and don’t read beyond that, because I know it’s just going to be depressing (and thankfully doesn’t directly affect me)…

It might also be good to mirror some resources from /r/estrogel about how to mix your own medication and include the places where you can buy the raws. (AFAIK dragonordnance is generally trusted?)

Since I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m now officially on HRT and have DIY’ed but not mixed myself before, I’m sadly not the best source on all that, but it is kinda important to be aware of the possibility as this will be by far the hardest option to take away from us.