I was at a party in a small apartment many years ago. I was leaning against the oven/range with my ass while hanging out in the kitchen. I managed to turn on one of the back burners high enough that it set a box of teabags on fire. We were so damn confused for a little bit.
Related to your second link:
When I was young, my friend and I got evicted from our first apartment for having way too many wild parties. When we were moving, we tried to fix as much of the damage as we could because we were broke and afraid of being sued.
Before we patched a big hole in the drywall we filled it with empty beer cans and hilarious pornography. They ended up bulldozing that shithole building a few years later. I hope we made somebody laugh.
Never lived with a woman? Like not even a mom, sister, or aunt?