We’ve been making a conscious effort to be more friendly to pollinators and fireflies for the last two years. I stopped leaving the exterior lights on when we didn’t need them. I overseeded wildflower mix on a part of our lawn that is hard to mow, and while I mulched the leaves, I left them where they were and then just didn’t touch a whole section of our land that now looks pretty wild with weeds. That part was some laziness too, but it was so validating to see twinkling lights in the field outside and in the brush. I’ve been making a point of going to look for them at twilight, they really are magical.

HARD disagree about Amazon. It’s nobody’s friend but most especially it’s terrible for buying clothing. For one, just about everything the search algorithm will show you is mass produced at the most cut throat profit margin imaginable, which means even if you ignore the moral complexities of supporting businesses with unethical labor practices, heavy metal contamination, and dangerous chemical dyes, you’re almost definitely getting crappy quality clothes that will not fit well and will not last. Not only that but the pictures are, with very few exceptions, extremely misleading or of different products entirely. The products they list seem like bargains because of their marketing but you get exactly what you pay for or even worse, and you end up spending way too much money on something that will end up in the trash within a year or look terrible on you or both.

There are even more reasons not to buy clothing on Amazon, including that most returns you make for size or color go straight to a landfill, but I have only so many minutes in my day to rant about fast fashion.

If you don’t know what you like yet, or what your style is, try going on FB marketplace or Craigslist and look for a closet clean out. This is the season for yard sales too. Try to find someone listing things in roughly your size (they sometimes will say “lots of XL clothes!” ) and then you can pick up giant bags or whole bins of random clothes for not even 10 dollars.

If you score a haul or two like that and get a chance to play dress up and experiment, you can figure out what you like on your body. What kind of necklines do you feel are flattering, what silhouettes, what length skirts or sleeves etc. Once you have a better idea of what you actually like on you, you can move on to shopping at thrift stores. There, you can keep an eye out for pieces that fit the profile of clothing you decided you liked. Not all thrift stores let you try on clothes and you might not feel confident enough to throw it on over what you’re wearing, so be prepared to buy, try, and maybe return.

Try to go for higher quality items made of natural materials. You should aim for as little polyester, nylon, acrylic or spandex as possible. Look for cotton, linen, and wool, rayon and viscose are ok too. Feel the clothes and see if they have weight to the fabric, and structure to them. Good quality clothing has construction and patterning that makes them fit a body better than just a sack or a rectangle. Look for clothes with linings and complexity.

Hopefully you will be able to build a starter wardrobe of some good core pieces that you love!

Goodwill is ubiquitous but if you’re in America, rural areas should have church thrift shops or animal shelter thrift shops. They rely on donations to raise money for good causes and while they won’t have as much inventory, they are extremely motivated sellers. Goodwill, Value Village and Savers are big corporate chains with a lot of stuff and variety, but sometimes you can’t beat a little church thrift shop for a bargain.

As others have said, it’s a life long thing, but a lot of the patterns can be brought on in people who don’t have it with consistent sleep deprivation and a state of tiredness and exhaustion. If you’re starting to relate more and more to ADHD memes well into adulthood, try to get a few nights of good sleep!

My understanding is that the ADHD brain activity resembles an NT’s when they’re extremely tired or sleep deprived, with a lot of theta wave activity. Stimulants can help jog an ADHD person’s brain into alpha and beta waves, which are associated with relaxation or alertness and focus.

Oops, fixed

I wonder if she has or had one of the models with the filter trap? I thankfully have one with the composter thing but if I had to clean year old moldy spaghetti remnants out of a filter I can definitely see making that rule.

Sounds like you need to watch one of Lemmy’s favorite videos

Technology Connections - Your dishwasher is better than you think

Muslin is just a type of woven cloth. Look for 100% cotton woven waxing strips, they’re usually sold to be used with traditional waxing. Good luck!

This one is good

https://youtu.be/GVKrLumCEpA

I use the soft wax method and a slightly different recipe, but otherwise all of her comments and directions are exactly what I would say :)

My recipe is 2 cups of sugar, 3tbsp of water and 3 tbsp of lemon juice boiled on the stove just until the bubbles turn off white. I’ll take it off and on the stove and let the bubbles die down so I can see the color, and it’s done when it just turns a soft champagne, buttery yellow. Use stainless steel not non stick so you can see better, it’s easy to wash because it just dissolves. Let it sit off heat for maybe two minutes to thicken and carry over cook a bit, then pour it into an >8 oz jar (glass is great because you can microwave it). Once in the jar it should be a warm golden honey color. I’ve found that that recipe results in a nice soft wax that just has to be somewhat warm to work. Her recipe might be fine too but I’ve had some issues with the higher liquid content ones not setting up right.

If you have any questions let me know!

When someone mentions hair removal I always have to pop in to proselytize about sugar waxing. It’s similar to “normal” waxing but it’s a fraction of the cost, it’s gentler and easier to clean up and you can make it yourself at home. The main cost is time, but you can essentially take a spa day every three months or so and enjoy smooth skin without much need for daily upkeep. It’s usually able to get all the thickest, roughest hairs by the root and over time (about a year or two) those hairs will just stop coming back. The softer thinner ones will tend to break and come back eventually but they’re also easier to deal with and not as prone to be troublesome.

Basically you need a set of reusable muslin cloth strips, a bottle of lemon juice, sugar, a pot and stove and some time. You can use a wax warmer but it’s not strictly necessary if you don’t mind microwaving now and then. I highly recommend at least trying it once and seeing how it works out before doing anything more expensive like laser.