Weil i was living as a woman for about a year bevor even starting to try and get hrt, because I wanted to be sure that this was the right thing for me… Then the secret was just finding the right doctors to write the referral, by asking other trans people where they got theirs, then it went quite fast… What part of Germany are you from btw?
I know exactly how you feel if that makes anything better… The closer to my imagined ideal I get, the bigger even little things seem to feel. Sometimes it’s hard looking at old pictures where you knew how good and feminine you felt when the picture was taken and seeing for example even the slightest shade of beard under the makeup that you didn’t even notice then… If anything that probably means you’re making progress, getting used to your new self and taking it as the new normal, so it becomes the new baseline for your brain, like getting used to sunlight after stepping outside from a dark room instead of a lit one. It’s all relative.
It started as a joke (removing the D from my nickname, haha) and it stuck… So I had my new nickname and from there I tried to find a full name that could be abbreviated to my nickname, but I couldn’t find one and told my cousin and my sister and both of them suggested the same name spontaneously and independently and I thought “wow I loved that name when I was young and my favourite character in my favourite show has the same name” and from there my brain kept it… It’s perfect.
Ah damn, I’m in southern Bavaria and had luck getting an appointment in half that time. Don’t forget you also need an “Indikationsscheiben” from a psychologist for getting hormone treatment.
But anyway, hormones are not everything and there are many steps on the way that you can do yourself like learning makeup und amassing a female wardrobe and most importantly finding the courage to open yourself up to the world and just being yourself, something unfortunately you have to do yourself. Find allies, especially female ones because they always sort out clothes from time to time, almost my whole wardrobe is second hand 😄