That’s one of the most confusing things about the current state of capitalist dystopia to me. Why can’t I just get a double espresso with Ritalin whip at Starbucks. This shit makes people productive.

I find that I can get six months of interest out of a job, generally. Then the burnout kicks in.

I have discovered that, even after I do HUGE tasks that improve my life day-to-day, I can’t even get a sense of accomplishment from it. It just immediately becomes the new normal in my brain, the state that things have always been, and I immediately begin chastising myself for not doing more or for letting other problems linger so long.

I just want the brain to give me the good chemicals.