I didn’t realize I had dysphoria until starting transition, then I unlocked it all in the first year and a half. I would depersonalize a lot as a teenager though and didn’t understand why.

I can’t recall exactly what helped change but it definitely for strong after socially transitioning, which I only did after two years on e. It helped that people supported me and saw me as a women too when I came out. I guess I needed the outside validation to help me probably.

My advice would be try to dream journal and/or see if you can realize you’re in a dream and start controlling it, therefore allowing you to change yourself to as you should be. Whenever I have a dream I can control (which is rare) it was helpful to go “this body is wrong” and change over to how I actually was sometimes. I know that is like kind of hard to do and pretty soft as far as advice but it’s what I got . I wish you all the best! 💜💜💜

I didn’t start seeing myself as a woman in my dreams until like 1.5 - 2 years in on estrogen. It also bothers me that I can’t remember ever dreaming of myself as a girl prior to transition.

Funny enough, the concept in my dreams is that I complain a lot about getting misgendered (thanks internalized transphobia) but I at least see myself as I look physically in my day to day. For those first two years or so my mental image of myself was my “male” me. 🤮

My Endo has asked a bit about my breast development but did not do an unasked for examination and confirmed I was ok answering questions about them. I think your Endo overstepped your boundaries. :(