Klingons: okay we don’t get it

Vulcan science academy: what what?

Klingons: You Vulcans are a bunch of stuffy prisses but you’re also tougher, stronger, and smarter than humans in every single way. Why do you let them run your Federation?

VSA: Look. This is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they don’t do experiments on one and save the other for if the first one blows up. This is a species where if you give them two warp cores, they will ask for a third one, immediately plug all three into each other, punch a hole into an alternate universe where humans subscribe to an even more destructive ideological system, fight everyone in it because they’re offended by that, steal their warp cores, plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby star into a torus because that was what their initial scientific experiment was for and they didn’t want to waste a trip.

VSA: They did that last week, we have the write-up right here. It’s getting published in about six hundred scientific journals across two hundred different disciplines because of how many established theories their ridiculous little experiment has just called into question. Also, they did turn that sun into a torus, and no one actually knows how.

VSA: This is why we let them do whatever the hell they want.

Klingons: Can we be a part of your Federation?

My phone already knows the difference between handpalm and fingertips, so that’s already covered.

Although I once saw a guy shutdown a factory by sitting in the edge of a desk and they mouse that was lying there. He managed to use his behind to click shutdown and press ok on the confirmation screen. Even the most improbable will happen one day.