I mean yeah but

eh, I’m not going to lie, that sounds awful and I wouldn’t wish that life on anyone

It’s fine to think about what could have been but I’m not judging anyone for being happy with their status quo. What matters is that someone is happy and all things considered, that colleague feels so much better like this. (Also he cross-dresses in public and to work for some more context)

a lot of folks don’t realize until their 40s or later, 34 isn’t too bad!

One of my colleagues at work had the realization well into his mid to late 50s, also having a wife and kids. He didn’t start any hormone therapy because it would be too much effort for him, only really cross dressing every now and then, still staying with his current name and he/him pronouns.

I can’t say much about his life outside of work but I do know that he generally hasn’t had too many issues being the way he is. Still got a wife, still got kids and all.

I really truly hope that OP will have a similar experience. In contrast, we are in a moderately accepting area of the world luckily so who knows…

Idk how your situation is but my siblings helped a lot with it. I felt like I was able to talk way more about my issues with them in comparison to my parents.

Just stuff like asking my brother if I can just hang out in his room when I felt lime shit and just being there, sitting somewhere and just not being that alone. Either staring into my phone or into nothingness

If you take it seriously then nothing is really safe. Taking estrogen could lead to issues with blood sugar levels long term too (am currently part of a study/research for that but it’ll take probably still 10-15 years until the papers get published). Not a doctor either but I assume that even pills are safe as long as you don’t have specific preexisting condition that puts you at higher risk for blood clots and strokes. I’m also pretty sure that the chance is very low in comparison to things like an unhealthy diet and stuff (assumption!!)

First of all: CONGRATS!! Let the girl-ification begin for you too :D

I use pills (oral, not sublingual) actually and it’s not that big of a deal at all. It kinda becomes a routine after a while and isn’t really annoying, especially if you already have meds to take daily.

From what I’ve heard (mostly from my mom who uses gel because of menopause) the gel goes into your skin pretty fast so I don’t think there’s any concern about you playing with your cat.

If you are still to paranoid then you can always try patches.

Biotin also is also commonly referee to as vitamin B7, just look out for that

I’m glad you’re such a big fan 🥰

A proper CPU so i can calculate the repercussions of the mistake I’m about to do

An internal data storage space that is more reliable than my brain. Need to look up some iso standards for screw sizes? No need, I have the wikipedia page in my head, word for word.

YES! YEESSSS!!! I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO OFTEN. It has to be sooo nice to just plug yourself into a wall socket for a few hours to recharge your energy so you wouldn’t have to sleep or eat. Or even better, just swap out batteries. Life would be so much easier but we’re stuck in this mortal shell ;-;

There are very few colors that actually look good on me so goth I am :D

What helped me a ton was getting other issues in my life fixed. Especially getting my ADHD meds really made things a lot easier. Starting off small with fingernail paint like I’ve heard here or growing out your hair is an incredible confidence booster. And if you can’t do even fingernails yet, do your toenails and never wear anything open toed. You still have that “hehehe I’m doing something girly” without the struggle of someone seeing anything. (Also helped me a lot getting over the “oh my god, my feet are so huge and manly and ugly” feeling)

I think you should keep in mind that transition timelines and success stories are just that. Stories about specifically the success, not the full story…

Over all I’m incredibly happy with my transition but I feel like for almost all of us, there is going to be at least one wrench in all of it. Friends/Family we had to cut out of our lives, belittlement from people, outright discrimination, or even just the nightmare that getting HRT is.

You got this, even if it takes you time. And you’re not alone in your struggles!

I used to use a (female) nickname for anonymity sake on the internet sometimes and it kinda grew on me…

Since I liked both that nickname and by dead name somewhat, I decided that I’d try a mix between the 2 names and it sorta worked but I was never really convinced. That was until I was going through some old google accounts of mine and noticed that I had a profile pic of a character from a game that I really liked and was incredibly similar to the mix between my nick- and dead name (and could be considered gender neutral).

The only issue was: since it’s a very uncommon name, not only did no one know how to spell it, there was also a very good chance that the responsible government agency for name changing stuff would outright reject the name because for some reason you can’t have a uncommon/strange name (the rules are extremely vague).

So while that game char name grew on me for a year, I basically had to come up with the name that I actually took within like 2 weeks because of other regulatory issues…

So I picked a pretty common name where I can say “oh, please use [game char name] as a nickname”. Don’t get me wrong, I quite like the name I took but especially with friends/family it just feels way too serious in comparison. With most people even at work I go by the game char name as a nickname tho and I love it ( ᵔ▽ᵔ)

Edit: I also thought about using the female version of my former middle name - Valentina, but I have too many bad memories of getting made fun of my former middle name… Now that I think about it tho, I might add Valentina back as a middle name in the future

The most i’ll allow you to do is draw the pentagram with your blood and even then only if you let me patch you up afterwards properly (ó﹏ò｡)

Let’s just embrace it, we are a cult now. This means we need sacrifices!

The only question now is, are we gonna pick this guy or JK Rowling first to sacrifice

Also I’m sure someone else has told you that already but don’t wait for estrogen or a name change until anything. The faster you get it done, the happier you will be

I hated my face too… Pre HRT some of my facial features where just so masc, quoting a friend of mine “you got a jawline more chiseled than roman statues”. HRT doesn’t change bone structure so I was devastated that I’d be stuck with that until I could get ffs. But what it does do however is round off facial features. My jawline didn’t go away, it got covered. I’m at a point where I am so happy with myself in general that I can’t even describe how it feels. I don’t think I could bare even a single day going back to how I used to look…

HRT does wonders. There is no other way for me to describe it. You just need to give it the time it needs

Had a similar experience in Austria (even tho people say that it’s easier here). Pretty much took me a year too and I optimized the hell out if the waiting times with stuff like writing several doctors at once and seeing who would give me the fastest appointment.

I still have to go to Germany soon… The waiting time for bottom surgery in Austria is 5-6 years…

Yea getting a compliment from a girl really shines up your entire day. I actually get a lot of compliments because of my style (basically a passing gothy tomboy) and every time it happened it just make me want to melt. Actually get hugs out of it sometimes too ;w;

Man, my prediction with my paintball gun was on point. The Mission 4 is literally the paintball gun I have, modified to shoot with CO2 capsules. Modded Tippmann TMC elite, it even still has the Tippmann logo molded into both the lower receiver and the grip

I can tell you from experience, the TMC is very reliable and effective but maybe not the most accurate (although I suspect that this is more of a skill issue on my part)

Umarex has something very similar with their T4E lineup. Basically co2 paintball markers (chambered down from .68 cal to .50 or .43) that are made to look like a real gun (like their glock 17 or PPQ, both of which I was thinking about buying back when I had money) that can also shoot pepper balls or rubber balls for self defense. I’ve heard though that the pepper balls aren’t as effective as a dedicated spray.