No refunds. Force majeure. Read the back of your tickets.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.

I’d like Weyoun right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Cardassia with all the other Cardies, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! HALLELUJAH! HOLY SHIT! Where’s the hypospray?

Left-to-right, top-to-bottom:

1. From the TNG episode “Darmok”, where Captain Picard has to learn how to communicate with an alien through shared danger.
2. From DS9, the decades-long Bajoran resistance to the brutal Cardassian occupation.
3. From the Voyager episode “Message in a Bottle”, where the holographic doctor has to go outside his comfort zone in order to recapture a federation starship from the Romulans.
4. From TNG, the friendship between human Geordi and the android Data.
5. From DS9, the friendship and subsequent romance between Odo and Kira
6. From Voyager, Janeway’s insistence that Borg drones are still people.

Beat me to it. Also, please remove me from this mailing list.

Pfft. Real programmers use butterflies

He will portray Neevok, half man, half dog, half orchid.

According to South Park, 22.3 years is the amount of time that has to pass before something tragic can become funny.

Hard to believe it’s been more than 22.3 years since 9/11.

Thomas is the one in a Cardassian prison. I wonder how he’s doing.

He was already famous for inventing duotronics, and the M-5 debacle was probably classified or otherwise not common knowledge.

Be are Worg

Unrelated anecdote:

Years ago I had a cheap Blackberry lookalike phone. It had a button lock feature to prevent butt dialing, but some bright spark decided that the lock wouldn’t apply to the ‘9’ and ‘1’ keys, presumably so that a user could dial 9-1-1 even if too panicked to unlock the keypad. Which just meant that it was really easy to butt dial 9-1-1…

Reminiscent of the University of Minnesota project to sneak bugs into the Linux kernel.

Data has always understood humor. He may not experience the emotion of mirth, but you don’t need that to understand humor. He is pretending not to understand as a practical joke.

At least Alexander got to join the House of Martok. All Kurn got was a memory wipe.

Fun fact: One of Jonathan Frakes’ first jobs in show biz was dressing up as Captain America at comic book conventions.

I am experiencing doubt

He’s not a child, he’s 34!