Hahaha, whaaaat? Why would I want too look at a male ass all day, I’m sooo hetero.

It really can be that easy, huh?

I’m on blahaj, so I wouldn’t see downvotes anyway (they’re not federated)

Huh, wasn’t aware, good to know.

Well, you’ve definitely thought about all that for way more than I have, I’m still pretty new to this journey. I do feel a strong desire to pass at some point, but I’m not sure what to make of it at this time.

the blame really belongs on the bigots and their bigotry

That’s something we can absolutely agree on and shouldn’t forget. We are in this together.

I hope you get well soon and wish you the best. And if you’d like, I’ll leave you a virtual hug 🫂.

Something happened which I didn’t believe was possible a few weeks ago: I’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel. Reconnected with and embraced the woman I’ve hidden deep down inside myself when my surroundings told me I’m a man. She was so scared and alone all her life. Now she’s me and I’m her and we’re in love.

And that’s all thanks to this wonderful community, which I could observe, learn from, and finally felt safe enough to start my own journey. It’s the single best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ll forever be thankful for that.

I’m sorry you had to go through this and hope you can feel safe here again. It’s not easy to deal with a feeling of being pushed into a corner. I’d like to point out that there seems to have been some consensus on giving you the benefit of the doubt, you haven’t been down-voted after all. Personally I had a bad feeling about that first comment, but wasn’t sure enough to comment.

Communication can be really hard, especially if all you have is words, especially when writing to strangers… I’m often very anxious myself about how to write, it’s even in my profile, kinda like a safety net, in case I fuck up. €: Don’t mean to imply you fucked up - it’s been a misunderstanding!

because such validation would in turn invalidate all non-conforming identities

I wasn’t entirely clear there myself. I’d think the bigoted part of our society would likely use this to invalidate everyone who is non-binary.

Has actually no one ever done this before? It seems so obvious now :3

There she is, the other half of my first real female friendship <3.

I’ve really never felt a sense of belonging like that. It’s very nice :3

I liked that one too, Rilee in my case. When still questioning I’ve had a list of ambiguous names, Jamie and Rilee were the last two contenders.

I just feel like if I don’t set a rigid rule for naming myself, I’ll end up changing it every month. I’m very indecisive.

Yeah, same struggle here. And I’m quiet good at being indecisive.

Awe, what an honor. Do they know?

That’s a beautiful approach. Not a lot of hope that my parents will accept me when coming out, but if they do, I might ask if they had anything in mind.

Heh, now that you say this, I always loved the idea of naming a daughter Eskarina, from Pratchett’s discworld. She’s this young girl, gifted with magic powers and goes out into the world to become the first sorceress (women were only allowed to become witches before). And she (almost) doesn’t take anyone’s shit.

Though, I believe legally where I’m from, I’ll only get to pick from “real” names and that’s mostly in the case workers discretion.

I don’t think it’s a fair assumption to say pooberbee acted in bad faith. There are some really bad implications in your first comment which are easy to read into your words. Now I’m not saying that’s what you meant and I welcome that you’ve put in some effort to make that clear. But it’s in there nonetheless, I’m glad they pointed that out and took a strong stance against that.

Then you go on pointing out how enbies are a minority and cishets are not, and tbh I have a really hard time understanding how that is relevant at all. To me it seems there’s a rather obvious implication that that somehow means conforming to the majority could be helpful in any way. And in the context of “passing transpeople validating cishets expectations” this is a very bad take, because such validation would in turn invalidate all non-conforming identities, hence the throwing enbies under the bus interpretation.

Just my two cents.

A little late to the party, but here I am :3

I’m actually not sure if I had a feeling like this when I was questioning. Maybe it was there, but I hadn’t really felt it, like with most emotions before accepting myself. But when I did, it hit me like a truck. I’ve felt like I was high for week, without any kind of drawback. Now that blew over a little, but I seem to be generally way more in touch my feelings and I love it.

Also know what it’s like to not get the results from therapy I’d like… There was a rather important puzzle piece missing. And there was a pretty big mislead, religious indoctrination, that I’ve used to explain myself, but I just never quiet got there.

If you feel like you’re ready, for me the Gender Dysphoria Bible was of insane help in figuring myself out. But no pressure, always proceed on your own speed!

A lot of what you write really resonates with me. I’m in my mid thirties, hatched a few weeks ago and grew up with a lot of religious indoctrination. Makes it really hard to actually dare asking those questions… I remember how adults wanted me to wear suits in church, how that fucked with my mind and lead to me shutting this part of me away. I haven’t started to transition yet and do have some doubts, about being too late, though, I’m trying not to focus on it too much.

The perspective I’d like to offer is, that even though I’m still not presenting as a woman, having found that answer for myself has had a profound effect on my mental well-being already. There were so many feelings I never quiet get, thoughts that didn’t make a lot of sense and strong memories which I didn’t really understand. And now it’s all becoming clearer, so many puzzle pieces that are just falling into place. I can finally accept myself for who I am, a gift nobody can ever take away.

<3

That second one triggered another memory… when I was a kid in a church going family, at some point I was expected to dress more appropriately. That of course meant wearing a shirt, eventually suit and tie. I hated this so, so much, actually never got through with wearing a tie. And I was so, so jealous of all the women who could dress nice in beautiful skirts and dresses. That might’ve been the moment I accepted the lie that I am a man and started to believe I have to live up to that.

Oh, and another fun fact: Turns out most cis-men apparently do not have a phase in their teens, where they wonder if they’d be a better and more productive member of society if they lost their dicks for some reason. It wasn’t even related to gender at all, I somehow just believed, as some kind of eunuch, I might be a happier person.

Sounds like you’ll get some answers soon, feel free to update, if you’re up for it. Can’t wait to find out what more estrogen does to me as well.