This is the answer.

Hire Steve Bannon as a marketer?

They already disappeared around 2017 when Steve Bannon’s racist troll armies flooded every single social media site or app. The auto-immune reaction killed the host, which I suspect was the point.

Funny personalities don’t make people laugh, and therefore aren’t really funny. They’re more patronizing and infantalizing.

Should I explain that not all planets live in the same Federation? I’m thinking no.

I think you’ve already gone astray from really explaining the (relatively simple) relationship between federated instances. It’s already confusing because you’re trying to make it fun.

I say, give your app whatever functionality you think is best, and the aesthetic/style/personality you think is best, but don’t worry about making the fediverse “fun.” Fun descriptions actually distract from the information.