I can relate to your rant. So just one small note, if I may: I know how you may feel in this moment, but keep in mind that transitioning takes time. Yes, of course, there are things that can be changed quickly (new clothes, etc.), but other things take a lot of time (hormones take a while before they kick in and so do other physical changes). You do not have to be in a rush to get everything done ASAP, because it often does not work that way. So don’t put yourself under a lot of pressure and be kind to yourself. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you feel comfortable with yourself. Godspeed, friend!

As the psychologists love to say: “You cannot have no behavior”, because even completely passive behavior is still behavior. Identity is the same way. But semantics aside, I definitely agree that people should get as weird as they please.

Ah, thank you for the info. I did not know it has been posted before.

It should not be a surprise to anyone, but it’s remarkable nonetheless: She is 20 and sounds so much more mature than her “cheats at video games to impress 4chan nazis” father.

That is a fair point and I agree that this kind of behavior should be avoided.

I understand the critique of the characters, but I read the comic a little different: Not as an actual event that happened to Mattie Lubchansky, nor as a critique of the egg prime directive (or a statement thereon); but rather as a simplified (maybe overly so) self-critique of Mattie’s own denial and inability of self-reflection before her transition. That this self-deprecating joke is incompatible with the egg prime directive could be incidental.

I am writing this as a comment, because I am not sure if this applies to you, but also because other people should know about this.

What you describe sounds like a major depressive episode. I am - unfortunately - talking from experience there: Everything feels pointless and nothing seems worth living fear? All the pleasure has been drained from whatever you do? Seeing no reason to get up in the morning and do anything at all? Is your mind a merry-go-round of negative thoughts? That’s depression talking.

Unfortunately trauma and guilt tend to reinforce depression and so does living long years with gender dysphoria.

I am not telling you this because I want to make you feel more depressed, but rather because one of the first steps to get out of depression is to understand when and how depression is weighing you down. That doesn’t make the symptoms any better by itself, but it helps to keep you focused on the things that matter rather than obsessing about the negative thoughts the depression throws at us.

The ultimate problem of depression is the depression tells us that there is no way to get better and that every effort to get better is pointless. There is no sugar-coating it: Every way out of the depression is hard.

Therefore I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Anti-depressants can offer relief even if they are most often no golden bullet by themselves. Therapy can also help.

If those things seem out of reach to you, try smaller stuff: Making a short daily walk, particularly when the sun is shining can already be a first step. And do not be hard on yourself! That is also the depression. If you are truly suffering from depression, you should consider yourself to be affected by an honest-to-god serious illness. You are not as productive and resilient as you usually are. So don’t torture yourself for not being able to do as much as you are used to.

I wish you all the best to get through this! 🍀 Feel free to DM me if you think what I wrote is useful.

Thanks for the reminded, edited.

I never had a choice, I was forcefully transed by my leftist parents who made me wear my older sister’s clothes when I was a child.

Congratulations! It is great that you feel more confident and euphoric by making such a discovery about yourself.

I do not want to diminish your joy, but keep one thing in mind: You are in for a marathon, no matter how much it may feel like a sprint right now. You have time to figure things out: What suits you best, what you want to do in regards to your appearance and your presentation and which steps to take next, etc.

Some things unfortunately take time, but that is also why it is important to not pressure yourself too much. You do not need to have all the answers right away.

One example is HRT: While the start of HRT is a big moment in the lives of most trans people, HRT is a slow process overall. Just finding the right dosage for yourself may take months and depending on various factors (genetic, age,…) visible changes may take a long time to manifest.

So, take the time you and your wife need to adapt. You can figure things out along the way.

In regards to the trans haircutter: As you do not seem to know that person, perhaps do not ask about her personal journey right away. It may come of as intrusive. If she offers such information on her own, sure, go for it.
But my advise would be to ask her about local resources. Most cities of a certain size have a trans/LGBT+ support network of some kind or other, something the haircutter may be a part of and/or may have taken advantage of herself.

Such networks are very useful to know about because its members can tell you about the right doctors which are familiar with HRT (not every doctor can be trusted with it unfortunately), other trans friendly health care providers, queer friendly businesses, various safe spaces, meetups and more.

But despite my reservations, please do not feel discouraged! Be assured, I am glad that you already feel more like yourself and I wish you all the best on your journey! 🍀

deleted by creator

Besides the jokes, one of the physiological reasons is HRT. Persons on HRT are going through a second puberty which is quite a strain for the body. FtM people on HRT have the advantage that higher levels of testosterone can counter fatigue. MtF people on HRT on the other hand will have a much lower level of testosterone than before HRT, while also feeling the physical strain of their second puberty.

Meanwhile trans mascs are out and about in a t-shirt and shorts. Enjoy the T, friends!

🦀🦀🦀

Flannel was also a mainstay of butch lesbian fashion for a long time. So it really depends what kind of look you are going for, but it certainly does not accentuate curves in my own experience.

Many crossdressers use “breast forms”, fake silicone breasts that one be worn with a bra. Some come as a “bra”, of sorts. It may be worth looking into for you. AFAIK it is recommended to not go for the cheapest ones though, because cheap silicone can be smelly and/or uncomfortable to wear.

It is perfectly valid to reject your gender. You can decide what that makes you, friend. 🙂

It is such a great book!

Jokes aside, this thought was a big part of what lead to my final egg crack.

Telling people in danger that their attempts to save themselves are contemptible is nothing but cynical callousness.