The infernal flame of Wonderland. Professional circus sideshow performer, fire witch, and collector of sharp things. Ask for my Instagram!

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  • 13 Comments
Joined 11 months ago
Cake day: April 2nd, 2024
  • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoLGBTQ+@beehaw.org•A question about "they" / "them"…
    12·
    21 days ago

    I’ll throw in one perspective, one of my pet peeves as a trans woman is when people use they/them to refer to me after I’ve told them my pronouns. A lot of people will do it to try to be inclusive, and I appreciate the sentiment, but my pronouns are not and never have been they/them. I’ve been fighting for over a decade to get people to use she/her.

    Of course, this only applies when it’s targeted and not to the more general use of singular they/them. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing more than a pet peeve

  • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•I'm like 99% sure I'm a trans woman... now what?English
    12·
    23 days ago

    In the short term, I know that I want to keep doing the “easy things” - growing my hair out (it’s already shoulder length, continuing to shave my body and paint my nails, get my ears pierced.

    I think all of that is a great idea! Regarding ear piercings, I can’t recommend going to a proper piercing shop enough (vs something like Claire’s). It’ll heal better, you’ll get better starter jewellery, and it really doesn’t cost that much. Lobe piercings are pretty painless and only take a month to heal.

    And yes, please share your spiel on names!

    I liken picking a name to stargazing

    Picture yourself lying in a grassy meadow, gazing up at the night sky during the darkest night of the year. Looking up, you see an endless ocean of stars, far more than you could ever count. You admire the vastness of the sky, the infinite possibilities, and the beauty of it all.

    As your eyes adjust, you find that some stars shine brighter than others. The more distant ones fade into the background, and the brighter ones appear to form patterns- constellations. As you continue to admire the night sky, your eyes pick out the brightest dozen or so stars among these with the most prominent placements.

    Your eyes flit back and forth between these, giving each one a moment to admire its beauty. Eventually, you realize your eyes keep being magically drawn towards one star in particular. You look at another, and then another, but no matter how much you try to look away, this one star keeps pulling you back. The other stars are undoubtedly beautiful, but this one star directly above you has something that sets it apart. Its draw is inescapable.

    That star is your new name.

  • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•I'm like 99% sure I'm a trans woman... now what?English
    20·
    23 days ago

    The advice given here is great so far. Definitely try to find a trans meetup nearby, knowing other trans people will do a lot to help both mentally and logistically.

    Like the other commenter said, being trans is a marathon. It’s literally lifelong, it doesn’t end it just gets easier.

    Try to figure out what transition means for you. How do you envision yourself? What procedures, if any, would you want? You have plenty of time to figure it out so don’t pressure yourself, but it’s good to start thinking about it. Social transition is usually the first “step”, as is getting on HRT if you wish to. Now would be a good time to start thinking of names (I have a whole spiel on that if you care to hear it)

    On the topic of HRT, know that it might be weeks/months before you start seeing changes. They will start to slow down around 2-3 years.

    A motto to keep in mind regarding transition is that it will only get easier. Take this from someone who’s been transitioning for over a decade :)