Hi, I’m not completely not ok, but my headspace is a mess, so I’d like to ask for media recommendations and tips for the panic I’m going through.
I’ve kinda known I am trans for years, but only in a dissociated, intellectualized sense, while living as a man. And recently I’ve gotten a tiny extra amount of monetary safety, enough to make me emotionally relax, and the realization of my transness hit me.
I was unable to imagine my self 5 years down there line. I drew a complete blank. My imagination suffocating between dysphoria and denial.
I’ve been seeing myself only as a girl in dreams for a week, and it has felt wonderful, and when I’m awake I’m paralyzed in dread of the amount of work in front of me, my deeply internalized misogyny about my appearence, my bigoted (though “safe enough”) surrounding people…
Question, what have you watched that brought you trans joy? Encouragement to go on towards something worth it.
And, in more mentally panicky matters, what do I do about an incredible amount and thickness of body hair? I know that the very dark coloration of it makes laser an option, I’ve heard electrolysis is underrated, but those seem like absolutely enormous steps right now. What can be easy, early, discreet steps I can take for some euphoria?
You should watch Infinity Train and buy an epilator. That’s what I did when I was a baby trans. Epilators have a bit that goes “brrrr” and pulls out your leg hairs. They’re great, but expect pain. Infinity Train stars a teenage girl who’s the perfect amount of autistic and emotionally repressed to be a massive trans mood. You’re gonna love her.
Gotta get me an epilator, it literally sounds fun. Maybe that’s the masochism talking, but still lol.
Also Infinity Train, all 4 seasons, has been a fucking cultural godsend, I loved all of it
Well rewatch Infinity Train, and also download Little Demon. It’s about a 13 year old girl who just found out she’s the Antichrist and her dad is Satan. He’s played by Danny DeVito.