Realize that you’ll never hit 100% certainty until you come out and actually try it. I was like 99% certain when I finally worked up the courage, but that 1% was still really bothering. What got me over the edge was accepting that I need to take a leap of faith in coming out. I needed to accept my doubts and push past them, or I’d be paralyzed by fear forever.
I was at the lowest point in my life and had nothing to lose, which made that leap easier. However, I recommend against letting it get to that point. Coming out was the best decision I ever made; it made me finally see the world in color and live as an actual person for the first time. It’d be almost impossible to convince me that I was cis at this point, even if you had full control of my 5 senses and were poking around in my brain.
Thank you, it is good to hear that you have had this doubt but persevered. It gives me hope that I too can do this one day. I am just so afraid and don’t even know of what exactly.
Trust me, I was in the same boat. I knew that even if my parents and the people around me didn’t get it, they would still try to understand and support me. It’s scary having to rewrite so much of who you are and how you exist in the world, even when it will make you so much happier.
I thought about that a while now and I am not sure who actually in my life would support it besides my wife. I am sure it will create a proper rift in my family between those who do and those who don’t but I have no way of knowing who is going to be on which side.
Definitely come out to your wife first so she can help you identify who might be supportive. Both of you can bring up trans related topics in conversation as naturally as possible to see if anyone is supportive. Once you do find someone supportive, come out to them and recruit them to help you. Coming out to one or two people who are supportive initially will help you navigate things, turning a sudden event with possible backlash into something more manageable.
Oh sorry, I should have been clearer, my wife is in the know and is supportive. She has been invaluable in that regards but I know she is cis and technically straight only with a past curiosity about women.
Realize that you’ll never hit 100% certainty until you come out and actually try it. I was like 99% certain when I finally worked up the courage, but that 1% was still really bothering. What got me over the edge was accepting that I need to take a leap of faith in coming out. I needed to accept my doubts and push past them, or I’d be paralyzed by fear forever.
I was at the lowest point in my life and had nothing to lose, which made that leap easier. However, I recommend against letting it get to that point. Coming out was the best decision I ever made; it made me finally see the world in color and live as an actual person for the first time. It’d be almost impossible to convince me that I was cis at this point, even if you had full control of my 5 senses and were poking around in my brain.
Thank you, it is good to hear that you have had this doubt but persevered. It gives me hope that I too can do this one day. I am just so afraid and don’t even know of what exactly.
Trust me, I was in the same boat. I knew that even if my parents and the people around me didn’t get it, they would still try to understand and support me. It’s scary having to rewrite so much of who you are and how you exist in the world, even when it will make you so much happier.
I thought about that a while now and I am not sure who actually in my life would support it besides my wife. I am sure it will create a proper rift in my family between those who do and those who don’t but I have no way of knowing who is going to be on which side.
Definitely come out to your wife first so she can help you identify who might be supportive. Both of you can bring up trans related topics in conversation as naturally as possible to see if anyone is supportive. Once you do find someone supportive, come out to them and recruit them to help you. Coming out to one or two people who are supportive initially will help you navigate things, turning a sudden event with possible backlash into something more manageable.
Oh sorry, I should have been clearer, my wife is in the know and is supportive. She has been invaluable in that regards but I know she is cis and technically straight only with a past curiosity about women.