Image description: Still image of two characters with dialogue from the film “Children of Men (2006).” The two characters are at the “Arc of the Arts,” museum near a window where outside a large pig-shaped balloon is flying. The character on the left, Theo, asks “What keeps you going?” The character on the right replies. “You know what it is Theo? I just don’t think about it.” The words of their reply are colored in trans-flag blue, white and pink.
Thank you for kind words. <3
Things are OK. I was looking at TotallyNotJessica’s post encouraging more people to post in egg_irl, and I thought “OK, but what would I even post?” This was the result.
I’m at a point where I’m questioning the validity of my own experience. I just got diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m finally on medication that has significantly reduced my anxiety. While I was waiting for diagnosis I didn’t actively think much about being trans. I observed that if I’m not focusing on it, it’s not a thorn in my side, and it doesn’t bother me, and my impression was that for “real” trans people, dysphoria & the incongruity of identity in lived-experience is not just something they can ignore or turn off. So yeah, imposter syndrome, not trans enough, etc.
It leaves me to wonder, if I just deleted my trans-leaning social media & didn’t seek out the trans-affirming content, would I just forget all about it and settle into some form of non-queer (but still Allied) identity, as I did in the past when I never really thought about or considered these things?
(And now I’m realizing this is definitely Matrix red-pill/blue-pill territory, and I could probably make another egg_irl post just based on this ramble! 😅 )
(And yes, Children of Men (2006) is a great SciFi. Grim, dystopian, pulls no punches. Highly recommended.)
Ah, I see. Well, I hope you figure it out sooner rather than later <3 Also, welcome to ADHD club! (I’m on atomoxetine and it’s great)
I kind of feel a bit cheeky posting to egg_irl these days, like I graduated school but I’m still hanging around and everyone is looking at me awkwardly wondering why I’m there :3