My form of denial was thinking that I didn’t really care about my body or my gender, so I might as well stay as a guy since I’m attracted to girls anyways. And then I didn’t actually seek out any relationships with girls anyways. And I didn’t pay any attention to my appearance as a guy.
So, in hindsight, I have never been okay with being a guy, I just dissociated.
I relate to that too. For a while, I had the mindset of “I don’t really identify with being a man, so I guess I must be non-binary, but I couldn’t be trans, so I may as well just stick with this”. And then I really just kind of put the bare minimum into taking care of myself, because I didn’t really like my appearance.
![[Transfem meme] egg_irl](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/4303ee36-3081-4df4-a532-4ad70e5dc1e8.webp){kind=link}
My form of denial was thinking that I didn’t really care about my body or my gender, so I might as well stay as a guy since I’m attracted to girls anyways. And then I didn’t actually seek out any relationships with girls anyways. And I didn’t pay any attention to my appearance as a guy.
So, in hindsight, I have never been okay with being a guy, I just dissociated.
I relate to that too. For a while, I had the mindset of “I don’t really identify with being a man, so I guess I must be non-binary, but I couldn’t be trans, so I may as well just stick with this”. And then I really just kind of put the bare minimum into taking care of myself, because I didn’t really like my appearance.
oh that’s exactly what I did… every word of it…