I thought this way for years. Turns out men actually want to be men, and I am much happier being a girl!
it was to my great surprise to learn that all men wouldn’t rather be women. It came up in one of those ‘if you had the magic wand’ threads on /r/egg_irl and i started subtly asking around to the homies and long story short now i have boobs and i love them.
Sorry if I don’t belong commenting here, but I figured I’d leave a comment in case it helps anyone recognize something about themselves as it’s related to what you said.
As a man I’ve never had a second thought about it. I never thought about changing anything in that respect. It’s not something that ever comes up in my mind, I just “am.” I’ve never thought about “what it means to be a man” or have any concern about what I look like (other than hating being short and balding lol) when I look in the mirror my only thoughts are usually “God what an ugly fucker” lol so I suppose if you do have thoughts about yourself it’s worth exploring them!
I remember a Real Life comic (which I can’t easily find again, sorry) about Mae getting ready to have bottom surgery and having doubts. Her wife pointed out “you know, most guys wouldn’t be excited about having their dick chopped off” and Dave, overhearing from the next room, yelled something to the effect of “can confirm!”
As a cis guy, yep, that just about sums it up!
“Oh nooo, my crotch bits are gone and I’m growing tits, whatever shall i doooooo”. Yeah the fact that that thought didn’t/doesn’t even slightly alarm me was a sign IMO.
that’s actually really validating, thanks for commenting :>
As in you never thought about your gender or as in you explored and found out the gender assigned to you at birth happened to fit you? :)
I guess a bit of both? I never thought about it because the gender assigned to me at birth fit, but I can’t say I spent any real amount of time trying to think about what it means. I just don’t have any issues with that part of how I appear so I had no “need” to think about it.
My denial message was “It must be a fetish. I’m disgusting. Why am I like this?” for years.
mine denial thoughts are “I just want a bit of estrogen as a non-binary person” and “I am just an occasional crossdresser because it’s fun”. I will see how it will turn out in the future.
Both? Both.
God yes. For years and years these were considered the “bad thoughts” and should not be examined more closely.
Shameful fantasies of a happier life… sigh
My form of denial was thinking that I didn’t really care about my body or my gender, so I might as well stay as a guy since I’m attracted to girls anyways. And then I didn’t actually seek out any relationships with girls anyways. And I didn’t pay any attention to my appearance as a guy.
So, in hindsight, I have never been okay with being a guy, I just dissociated.
I relate to that too. For a while, I had the mindset of “I don’t really identify with being a man, so I guess I must be non-binary, but I couldn’t be trans, so I may as well just stick with this”. And then I really just kind of put the bare minimum into taking care of myself, because I didn’t really like my appearance.
oh that’s exactly what I did… every word of it…
I’m a dude and I don’t care what I am, so I guess I happen to have been assigned correctly.
Yes youre cisgender
You can, however, reject the gender binary for a spectrum and place yourself anywhere you see fit. Im generally fine with being a man and I don’t have dysphoria, so I too am not trans - but I consider myself non-binary. I have feminine traits im more than happy exploring and remaining more or less who and what I am now, and im fine with he/his pronouns.
But really at the end of the day the only people’s business it is are me and my wife.
For sure!
I’m a dude because I have always had to be something, but I don’t think the distinctions are necessary, really. What’s even the point?
Patriarchy, mostly.
Having genders is useful, but society needs to be more flexible with how people harmlessly describe themselves, not less. I blame the pulpit for the majority of backwards attitudes about it all, and I suspect many people here would have stories about being bullied for Christ. Especially those who’ve been homeless.
That’s the jam.
I’m just me. You be you. Anything beyond that should be based on content of character.
Now explain trans men
As an afab probable egg, I do think that many cis women might want to be men, just because of the patriarchy. I can’t find it, but there’s a quote I read somewhere about wishing that you could just go on adventures like men do (I have a hazy idea that it was from Sylvia Plath or Audrey Hepburn, but I can’t search for clear enough terms to avoid pages and pages of slop). It stuck with me, because I think there are a lot of areas that women are (to varying degrees) locked out of. There are also lots of Mulan-type stories about afab people who pretend to be men for a period of time in order to do something they wouldn’t have been able to do as a woman, then go back to living as women. We obviously don’t know their feelings on gender, but that reads like they’re cis women to me.
In my opinion, wanting the benefits of the patriarchy is different than wanting to be a man, with the acknowledgement that there can be some overlap between the two. Where Mulan’s military service was temporary and brought about by external pressures, a trans man likely would not need the threat of an elderly family member being drafted to war to make the change, nor want to go back to living as a woman. But at the same time I’m sure there are women like Mulan.
There are also lots of Mulan-type stories about afab people who pretend to be men for a period of time in order to do something they wouldn’t have been able to do as a woman, then go back to living as women.
A bit like the older practice of women writers using abbreviated names or pseudonyms when publishing books because books written by men sold better.
It’s crazy to me how unnecessarily gendered so many different industries still are, too. Professional cooking is still dominated by men but cooking at home is womanly. It makes no sense and it’s maddening.
Yeah. I, cis woman, sit down once a year or so and ask myself a lot of questions (am I happy here, do I still want to be doing x) and one of them is, “am I a woman?” And the answer is “yes, despite how much this society makes that suck ass”. In my head I’m a woman. I do wish I had way less tit. I might be getting that soon though. Cancer scares suck ass though.
I honestly can’t tell if I want to be a man, or if I don’t want people to think about my gender (which it seems like happens for men). I know I don’t want to be sexualized and I do want to be treated like “one of the boys” by everyone except my husband, but I can’t tell if it goes further than that. Luckily, I married a bi dude who’s down for whatever, so I don’t have to choose between us if I get a bunch more dysphoric in the future.
Yeah, I very much get the ‘no one else should be thinking about my gender’ thing. I’d like a nice slightly less decaying metal body and no one to perceive me unless I want them to!
this is pretty easy to explain! Men and trans men want to be men. Women and trans women want to be women! Non Binary folk aren’t interested in claiming either gender. All are valid :) I hope that clears things up!
Non binary is a bit more nuanced though.
deleted by creator
can we please take care not to invalidate our trans brothers? They are valid no matter how much sense it might make to anyone else. egg memes aren’t just for transfems.
didn’t mean it like that. Was mostly just a passing comment.
![[Transfem meme] egg_irl](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/4303ee36-3081-4df4-a532-4ad70e5dc1e8.webp){kind=link}