It’s not unheard of. The genetic factors for several types of conditions can overlap. Not a guarantee, and everyone is different, but… 🌈💫

But they’re jawa21! That’s got to count for something!

Many years ago, I discovered that my then-employer’s “home built” e-commerce system had all user and admin passwords displayed in plaintext at home/admin/passwords.

When I brought this to the attention of leadership, they called the “developer” in and he said “oh, well, that’s IP locked, so no one on the web can access it!” When I pulled it up on my phone, he insisted my phone was on the work WiFi, despite it being clearly verifiable that was not the case. (The same work WiFi that had an open public connection, which is the one my phone would have been on, if it were on it…)

He did fix that, but many other issues remained. Eventually a new COO hired someone competent as his ‘backup’, replaced our website and finally suggested he pursue other employment opportunities before he could no longer voluntarily pursue them. (There was concern he might sabotage.)

I worked very hard all day on very small things. I was pretty well rested and properly medicated.

At the end of the day, however, I had made progress forward, but also had discovered issues with my earlier work, setting me back an amount commensurate with my progress.

Tuesday will be more challenging, I have some things that are causing me anxiety, and I expect them to be worse Tuesday. Whee.

Unless something else happened, it has to do with the sign stealing scandal

The internalized sense of failure because you cannot maintain friendships with (most) neurotypical people is honestly kind of a cancer until you figure it out. It’s one of the most damaging things that happened to my psyche as a result of having ADHD.

It’s one of the reasons why I so strongly advocate for everyone getting tested if they have any suspicions. The knowledge that I wasn’t wrong, and the disconnection I felt from others was not (necessarily) a result of my own failings was really freeing and lifted a lot of weight from me. I hope getting tested can help others by either preventing them from internalizing similar feelings, or giving them a path forward to working through those feelings.

And also rejection sensitivity, plus the common “ride alongs” like anxiety and depression.

Quick test: Do you have friends with ADHD?

More than 1? Ask them if they think you have ADHD.
More than 50% of your friends? You have ADHD.

It’s a scarily accurate meme that ADHD folks flock together.

For a more considered approach, I’d recommend getting started here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/health/adhdattention-deficit-disorder-test

It’s non-comprehensive, but doesn’t require a login or email to see your results, and it gives you a starting point to talk to your doctor.

Depending on where you are in the world and how badly this is impacting you or the state of your local health system, you may want to investigate alternative diagnosis options.
In the U.S., it was a 6-month wait for a traditional psychiatrist. I resorted to an online option as my ADHD discovery coincided with long covid and depression (I needed a quick turnaround before it impacted me professionally), but there are now some chain psychiatry operations that, well, I don’t like their business model, but they offer fast turnaround if you’re willing to be a part of the enshitification of yet another profession.

Editing to add: That’s more a pointed comment at myself than anyone else. My regular doctor was not really getting my depression meds right to the point it was becoming an emergency, so I wound up with a company called LifeStance. They’re the McDonalds of mental health providers.

Yes!
My wife and I order breakfast once a week from this local place. They’ve undergone some changes and transitions over the years and in their current phase they partnered with another business (a coffee shop) where they use they kitchen space that came with the building and the coffee shop plays to their strengths.

We can’t make as much small talk as we used to with the owners of the restaurant when we go to pick up our food (ordered online 99% of the time), but there’s always a sense of connection in being recognized by the restaurant staff, who will pop out of the kitchen to hand me my order if the baristas are busy, or when the baristas see me and just grab my food from the order window and call my name before I’m halfway through the crowd of customers. I’m a big fish in a very small pond!

He’s a sweet guy. … Mostly. Very much in need of a lot of attention. Sometimes he just sits next to you on the couch and puts his paw on you if you’re not giving him enough attention.

Here he is posing with his sister as a prop:

This made me laugh so hard one of the dogs came to check in on me.

I was quite sure I didn’t have ADHD, too.

Not feeling a sense of accomplishment is not normal. You deserve better. Just check into it, okay?

Oh, snap, bringing me the magic I need, but didn’t know to look for.

I’ve been refusing to update because of video station. Looks like I’m saving your comment for later.

The advice I needed and have not been able to find. I could kiss you. Or at least give you a fond nod.

Yeah. No. I get that.

But the thing is - if they actually view your work as good, both in terms of quality and quantity, then the disjoint is the result of a comparison between your real self and some iteration of your ideal self.

Feeling bad about that is just an exercise in self-abuse. Minimally, you do enough that they see your value, and that’s enough, innit? Although, ideally, it shouldn’t matter at all what they think, but that’s easier said than done.

This might make me sound kind of shitty, and I don’t care, but I lie about my productivity.

Can’t harness the ADHD superpowers for a project that has a 4-month timeline until the last two weeks, then bang it all out to perfection in a frenzied mania?
Every status update is ‘I’m making steady progress. I have x, y and x done, but I’m having struggles with this part of it, etc.” I don’t lie or misrepresent the actual state of my progress, but I do downplay how much work I get done while riding the rocket of ADHD productivity. And I also play up how much work I do while I’m stuck trying to squeeze some dopamine from the rocks in my head.

If I bang out a project early, I guesstimate what should be done when, and reveal those parts at status updates along the way.

Sure - I still know that I’m inconsistent, and perhaps not living up to my actual potential in every situation, but I also know that I can outperform everyone I work with when the fire has me. So rather than show the gaps, I mask and don’t deal with the guilt.
Personal belief - work is about value extraction from you. If you show that you’re not maximally providing value at all times, you could be subject to judgement. So, show that you’re working steadily and avoid the judgement.

In other words: Set the expectation and roll with that expectation. But let the ADHDemon loose a month before evaluations come due. Your boss forgets too, but the demon likes raises and will definitely give you dopamine for that prospect.

At work I use tab groups to keep them organized by project, so I can tell just how far behind/how overwhelmed I am with a given project by the count of tabs in a given tab group.

It’s a highly effective way to quantify my work-related anxiety.

A warrior uses every tool at their disposal to vanquish their foes!
Self care is an honorable and righteous pursuit. It makes you a more effective foe in battle.

I took my antidepressants FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!

My wife received a sticker of the Gadsden snake with the words “Gargle my balls” under it as a gift from one of her cooler family members yesterday.

Not a fan of the Gadsden imagery in general, but this one gets a pass.