I am this year’s class!! I just wanna get it over with and move on… close one chapter and open the next

honestly still find it pretty funny that my journey feels reversed, things that are “easier” to do are hard for me and the “harder” things are more manageable…

• outfits: I have no idea what I want, exploring takes time I don’t have atm, I can’t store them somewhere easily accessible, I can’t wear them very often, ugh. I do have a skirt and thigh highs which I love though so I know that much at least… I’m now in full support of pants ban >:3
• shaving: also pretty spotty, I’ve gotten a routine together but I can’t do my arms or face without making spawnpoint get all on my case again…
• haircut: I already have long hair, but I can’t style it or explore, ditto with shaving

but then??

• therapy: appointments are available in the near future so I’ll have to check them out
• job: very likely coming I hope… I want my own money just in case of anything
• name: I have a name already and it sticks… love it sm and my friends use it whenever we talk
• HRT: zero barriers!?? thank you PP but wtf that was scary fast 😆

I’m starting to see how the rest of the world is ready to accept me far better than my spawnpoint… keeping away from her and making myself better is the goal!!

cute comfy looking fit :3

I posted about it before, but I got my first injection done yesterday!! inside I’ve been feeling super great :3

my spawnpoint has just been getting on my nerves lately though, hot weather coming up and she won’t stop bugging me to wear short sleeves and shorts… LITERALLY NO… I can’t even explore further than plain long sleeves and sweatpants because of you… I do NOT want to go back to the masc stuff

some part of my impulsiveness just wants to do it one day just to let her see that I’ve already shaved myself quite well, but then home life would get quite a bit more explosive… she thinks I’m following her “advice” and not doing any transition. I know I can’t keep up the lies and deception forever… but I gotta try really hard to hold out at least until after my high school graduation

as always, my life is always a mixed bag… sigh 🫠

hehe for me it’s been anything red. everything red and red adjacent like a deep pink/orange is just popping out at me even if it’s something I’ve seen before… so much it might be my new favorite color if this keeps up :3

the first things I’m noticing subtly is how sunshine and rainbows everything feels rn… I have no idea if this is just what normal feels like but I haven’t had any negative feelings since I woke up and everything looks so colorful, that last one is probably just spring rolling in though

an oldie!! NYCT/MTA Bus/NICE don’t usually run anything over 20 years old on the most active lines

and def no double deckers, we only got these stretchy thingys

thx, there is so much stuff I’ve been missing out on… like shit no wonder why people take care of themselves it feels great :3

I’m pretty new to this as well 😅 so take these from a newbie

I like to journal whenever something happens that’s affirming/dysphoric so I can take a look back whenever I’m feeling that impostor syndrome come back on. whether it’s just writing on a document on my computer or looking back at my posts in this community it reminds me of what makes me upset and what makes me happy :3

I also love the “girl button” question, because the truth of knowing that cis people would stay far away from it, yet I still wanna press it after all this time is a great affirmation

get it.

“Something went wrong.”

motherfucker I will OPEN UP THE NETWORK INSPECT TAB AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG.

yeah I’m in the NY metro area!!

sorry you can’t get it legit, hopefully you find some avenue that’s less sketchy 😅

yes they always stick together!!

I wanna get a big haj soon :3

I wish, but Nassau County NICE buses and the LIRR still get places

fingers crossed I get back to NYC 🤞

tyty :3

money no, it’s pretty cheap to get there, it’s combination of the first and last.

I’m still enrolled in high school and live at home, graduating this summer. they meet on Tuesday afternoons and it’s ~30 min drive or a 1hr bus ride one-way, not to mention the fact that I can’t tell spawnpoint where I’m actually going. with that time and distance I can’t just say I’m staying after school, at friend’s house or the library and get away with it like I usually do. best case scenario, I lie and never get caught. worst case, I end up getting back long after I’ve been asked to and… yeah this isn’t going to work.

they gave me other resources on a different slip that may be closer, so I’ll have to take a closer look. if I don’t find anything easier to get to, there’s not much I can do

how it should be!! I’m thankful I’m in an area with some transit

they are currently multiplying in my home as you can see but I’ll try to keep them under control

I’ve always loved the semi-skeuomorphism those themes provided, even if they’re a little dated. it gives more depth to the desktop. hoping for the best!

no luck with spawnpoint. I have to act like everything’s normal at home, poker face is good but it’s a draining process internally. friends are my escape because they support me unconditionally :3

yeah my optimism has been quite high as of recent. throughout my life I’ve been expected to do a lot of things independently and I usually find ways to get what I want eventually. the downside to that is I always ask for help far too late when people are willing to help me. I tried to be up front with my mom first, but my intuition said not to have high expectations as sad as that sounds and it turns out I was right

yeah… I’ll try and process this experience now and not let it hit me like a truck at some random point in the future

for now I have my friends. I don’t know where I’ll find my next family or what that will look like, but I think just heading to college would be a good place to start. a long 4 months before then though… :(