First of all, congratulations! I hope that you find the journey you are embarking on as soul-filling and effervescent as many of your trans siblings.

Coming out to my family is probably the most single difficult thing I’ve ever done. I was in a good place life-wise (financially, friends, relationships, etc), but I knew they wouldn’t understand, and would likely say some hurtful things, all of which happened. Some people prefer to deliver the message via a letter or email in order to better compose their thoughts. I really like this idea in terms of crafting the message you want to send, but I also believe that it’s an important enough matter that the people who you care most about deserve to hear about it from you first-hand (offering a letter or email after the fact to ensure your whole message gets through). Today, my family still doesn’t quite get it, but it’s no longer the anguish for them that it started as.

Be prepared for your life to change. Your good job could go away, and you could find it difficult to find a new one. That’s the situation I’ve found myself in. I thank my lucky stars I have a partner that’s willing to support me and enough of a nest-egg to get by without fearing homelessness.

I get my hair cut at an LGBTQ salon, and I think at least one of the stylists there is a trans woman. Would it be appropriate/inappropriate for me to ask her if I could talk to her about her experience?

As a general rule, I would flag that as inappropriate. Many many transgender women prefer to be seen as just plain old women. Approaching someone you suspect is trans and saying “Hey, I’m pretty sure I’m trans too! What up sis?? Can you help me?” has a high likelihood of making that person feel less like a woman (like any other) and more like a trans woman. Now it’s also equally likely that they won’t find it inappropriate at all and would delight in the opportunity to help you. You never know; people are all different. If I were in your shoes there, I’d talk to my regular stylist (the person who usually works with you) and let them know where you’re at regarding your gender identity, and you’d like your hair to reflect that, but you’re totally new to this, probably need a lot of help and aren’t sure how to even ask for help. Let them know when you book your appointment that you want to do something new with your gender expression and would like help with it. Chances are that your regular stylist knows more about their coworker and how they prefer to be interacted with. Again, as a general rule, don’t single out trans people for being trans; treat them they way they prefer to be treated and (if they want to) they will gravitate to you.

That said, you will definitely want to find some transgender friends. These will be people you can commiserate with, ask for favors, teach you about blue eye-shadow, all that nonsense. This could be tricky though, as there aren’t a ton of common socialization venues just for trans folks. If you’re in a reasonable-sized city, there’s probably a queer resource center or website that you can start from. See if they have a bulletin board where people post meet-ups or activities that you can jump in on. Also, it may be a little scary, but look at starting one on your own! What are your interests and hobbies? If there isn’t already a queer group for your activity of choice, make it! Queer and queer ally bowling team, or biking club, or movie fans, or sports, or whatever. Discord servers are popular these days, but finding people you can hang out with in meat space can’t be replaced.

Oh, and hey, your lemmy friends are here to help too. <3

Lemmy supports community RSS feeds natively; no need for a third party service to do it for you.

Here’s the RSS feed for the Selfhosted@lemmy.world community: https://lemmy.world/feeds/c/selfhosted.xml

:( :( :(

Not your brain, the root of your tooth:

Biting on aluminum foil can be painful because it creates a voltaic battery in your mouth. This happens when the foil comes into contact with metal from dental work in a moist, saline environment like saliva. This contact generates an electrical current that flows to the tooth’s root, stimulating nerve endings and causing pain, especially if you have fillings, crowns or other metal dental work.

https://science.howstuffworks.com/question564.htm

That was my first thought as well, but the details cover that. See section 2c:

© The phrase “chemical and surgical mutilation” means the use of puberty blockers, including GnRH agonists and other interventions, to delay the onset or progression of normally timed puberty in an individual who does not identify as his or her sex; the use of sex hormones, such as androgen blockers, estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone, to align an individual’s physical appearance with an identity that differs from his or her sex; and surgical procedures that attempt to transform an individual’s physical appearance to align with an identity that differs from his or her sex or that attempt to alter or remove an individual’s sexual organs to minimize or destroy their natural biological functions. This phrase sometimes is referred to as “gender affirming care.”

It also calls WPATH’s finding “junk science” without offering evidence to the contrary, which has all the rhetorical weight of a 6-year-old shouting “NUH UHH!!”

🫵 Ỹ̷̰̞̘͕̫͑̃̋͆̐Õ̴̪͗̏́U̷̡̲̪̭̓͑̔́͂