Hey wonderful ladies, gents and everyone outside!

I wanted to ask if anyone else experienced something like this early on their feminising journey: I’ve recently finally shared my dramas/worries around my gender identity with my doctor (after who knows how long of the writing being on the wall and loud) and suddenly things are a bit easier, it feels like I can breathe a bit deeper, the internal strife is quieter. But within my consciousness i don’t think i feel any different? It’s almost like a silent subconscious side of me was trying to scream for years that something was wrong, and I’ve finally listened at least a bit so it’s stopped fighting me, although the “me” i experience doesn’t seem to care that much.

I ofc feel relieved (and terrified!) to have talked about it at all. But it feels deeper than that, and this deeper peace I’m experiencing is obvious to observe within myself. I’m planning to ask to speak to a specialist next appointment but that could be weeks or months away and I’d like to try to make some sense of it before then! Unfortunately I don’t have any family or friends who this topic would 100% be safe with, they’ve all shown at least yellow or orange flags of transphobia.

I’d love to hear any of your own stories or similar experiences. Also thank you for this community, i don’t think i would have opened up if it wasn’t for the tales and thoughts shared.

  • LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    22 days ago

    Yes a similar experience for me too, I’ve ‘known’ for a long time, but repression and not really having any exposure to trans people I don’t do anything for a long time. Went to therapy for depression and low self esteem, did that for 2 years.

    Finally hit my breaking point and had massive anxiety for like a week, but one night when I was trying to get to sleep, it just broke, ‘I’m trans, I want to be a womann!’ And then… peace-ish. Of course, worrying about all the stuff that entails, but the storm was over.

    • IntensityLad@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      22 days ago

      Thanks for sharing! I’m now quite worried that all 3 comments are indirectly telling me i’m on the path. Well worried as in smiling and feeling good for seemingly no reason.

      I sure feel foolish for all the signs i excused or explained away over the years.

      • LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        21 days ago

        Girl…. Tell me about it. This Bitch used to wish on shooting stars and when blowing out birthday candles and all, but… still cis though! Smh my head!

        • IntensityLad@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          21 days ago

          Thankfully i am the most cis man of all time. Like yeah you calling me girl made my heart flutter a little bit but that’s definitely because i’m so ultra masculine that…. uhhhh….