That was beautiful! I’m going to think too much about that i wear pants all the time but have never shaved my legs. Did i not like shorts because they exposed my hairy legs?

Oddly enough when i tried some of those type of things (and drinking to dull the stress) i woke up very sore. I remembered that i did a lot of powerful muscle poses that evening? Embracing a feminine side actually made me more positive about my masculine side? What?

Anyways thank you again. Seeing the response here has been so wonderful.

Thank you! I do fear how deep this has dug into me. It looks like it’s rotted part of my core it has dug so deep.

I’m going to save that poem and see how my perception of it changes as this journey continues.

I didn’t think about that! That i don’t necessarily need to find just trans or gender curious people, but that the whole community would maybe be quite open to me. That’s a big relief honestly, as though people around me maybe don’t fully understand trans people, they sure are more accepting of homosexual or asexual people. Lowering the stress of being found out.

I feel really damn silly now. I’ve been purely looking for trans groups. Thanks!

Wonderfully put! Thank you.

My next step is to talk to a specialist and reach out to a support group. I may need to help someone else before i can help myself with how far i’ve gone with this issue possibly burning a hole in me. What do i want is difficult, as there’s the me on the surface then then the me deeper down who seems happy about this exploration.

Thankfully i am the most cis man of all time. Like yeah you calling me girl made my heart flutter a little bit but that’s definitely because i’m so ultra masculine that…. uhhhh….

Thank you! Yup it totally was “something is very wrong” which made therapy almost impossible and I’ll definitely struggle with accepting myself even if everyone around me is supportive.

I like how you put it, “still me”, even this small step i took i noticed that feeling.

Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement. Unfortunately i definitely am too anxious about it to do anything long term or public, maybe i could try shaving my legs as i wear pants all the time.

I think i really need to meet some people on a similar journey.

Thanks for sharing! I’m now quite worried that all 3 comments are indirectly telling me i’m on the path. Well worried as in smiling and feeling good for seemingly no reason.

I sure feel foolish for all the signs i excused or explained away over the years.

Thanks for reading and sharing!

I can’t imagine opening up to someone that close to me, must have put my current feelings to shame!

Woah though about the feeling empty without it! Any advice if i start to experience it? I think it’s likely.

I must say i’m very excited but anxious to explore this further. So scared that this is the wrong thing, but that feeling of relief was so strong.

Thank you so much for your comment! The emotion behind this topic is incredible right now, a lot of excitement and stress talking about this anywhere but a room with a single trusted professional.

I like the theory that maybe it’s the two sides of the brain. I once had a dream where i was two separate people. One was adventurous, impulsive, active but didn’t talk only showing emotions. The other one was like a guardian, more slow, cautious and calculated. Oddly similar to how the hemispheres of the brain work!