I have the opposite problem. I know lots of transfems but very few trans men.
Which really sucks because i’m into men, but good men are really hard to find. Like, seriously, where are all the queer, feminist, gentle, emotionally available men at?! I go to irl queer events and it’s usually all women. (Not that women aren’t also hot, but i’m trying to catch 'em all here. 😝)
By virtue of their lived experiences, trans men are usually more feminist and queer friendly than cis men, and are therefore much more attractive on average. And yet I can’t seem to find any 😥
It’s a universal problem. Good men/women/other spend far less time “available” than their fellows. A (straight) man like that would likely be snatched up and hung onto by the first woman smart enough to realise what she’s got. If she’s also a good option for him, then both are off the market permanently.
It’s like a box of chocolates. It’s not that the good ones don’t exist. The box just gets picked clean, and you’re left with the weird nuts to choose from.
(P.s. I stumbled in here from /all, so only have experience with how it plays out for straight foke. I presume it likely plays out similarly for queer etc too)
It’s pretty much like that, but with some pretty significant differences.
Queer people are like Schrodinger’s cat. Depending on who’s inquiring or when or how or what, they can be straight or queer. Also, available queer people tend to be older, as society is still very cishet normative and makes self discovery, itself, a taboo, and in a lot of places, illegal and dangerous.
So you end up with this fucked up, maybe small box, with nuts that come out of nowhere, everybody’s damaged, and in order to have any relationship even with yourself, you’re required to have at least a modicum of empathy, but even that is too much to ask for some people.
So it’s… Different. It has many more layers at play, but still has largely that dynamic you’re describing.
Edit: I want to add that, a lot of (but not all) queer people are non-monogamous of some kind, so mutual attraction becomes very important as an initiator, not just partnered or not. We are constantly checking each other out, both to shop but also to see if the other person is looking, too. Like there’s this jojo looking girl that works at my local grocery store that’s super attractive but I don’t want to bother her because she’s way out of my league.
I feel you but i have the problem of wanting a tall buff jock that treats trans people like people. Where are all the tall hot dude bros that arent chasers??
I thought I found one a few years ago, but quickly started finding …downsides.
So they do exist, but also people do know what other people want and don’t want, and either hide/lie things about themselves or there may be tradeoffs.
I have the opposite problem. I know lots of transfems but very few trans men.
Which really sucks because i’m into men, but good men are really hard to find. Like, seriously, where are all the queer, feminist, gentle, emotionally available men at?! I go to irl queer events and it’s usually all women. (Not that women aren’t also hot, but i’m trying to catch 'em all here. 😝)
By virtue of their lived experiences, trans men are usually more feminist and queer friendly than cis men, and are therefore much more attractive on average. And yet I can’t seem to find any 😥
It’s a universal problem. Good men/women/other spend far less time “available” than their fellows. A (straight) man like that would likely be snatched up and hung onto by the first woman smart enough to realise what she’s got. If she’s also a good option for him, then both are off the market permanently.
It’s like a box of chocolates. It’s not that the good ones don’t exist. The box just gets picked clean, and you’re left with the weird nuts to choose from.
(P.s. I stumbled in here from /all, so only have experience with how it plays out for straight foke. I presume it likely plays out similarly for queer etc too)
It’s pretty much like that, but with some pretty significant differences.
Queer people are like Schrodinger’s cat. Depending on who’s inquiring or when or how or what, they can be straight or queer. Also, available queer people tend to be older, as society is still very cishet normative and makes self discovery, itself, a taboo, and in a lot of places, illegal and dangerous.
So you end up with this fucked up, maybe small box, with nuts that come out of nowhere, everybody’s damaged, and in order to have any relationship even with yourself, you’re required to have at least a modicum of empathy, but even that is too much to ask for some people.
So it’s… Different. It has many more layers at play, but still has largely that dynamic you’re describing.
Edit: I want to add that, a lot of (but not all) queer people are non-monogamous of some kind, so mutual attraction becomes very important as an initiator, not just partnered or not. We are constantly checking each other out, both to shop but also to see if the other person is looking, too. Like there’s this jojo looking girl that works at my local grocery store that’s super attractive but I don’t want to bother her because she’s way out of my league.
God I wish this were more true. I meet too many queer monogamous people and it makes me sad bc they’re hot 😥
I feel you but i have the problem of wanting a tall buff jock that treats trans people like people. Where are all the tall hot dude bros that arent chasers??
I thought I found one a few years ago, but quickly started finding …downsides.
So they do exist, but also people do know what other people want and don’t want, and either hide/lie things about themselves or there may be tradeoffs.
Their boyfriends keep them locked up for their own safety.