I saw the attitude my parents had towards queer people, and literally calling my friends slurs behind their back for expressing even the slightest amount of femininity/queerness. Gee, I wonder why you never saw any signs?

My parents and siblings were sorta the opposite; we generally agreed gender norms are BS, so none of us saw things that would sometimes be considered signs of being queer in some way to actually be signs, so only things like clear expressions of bottom dysphoria would count. And I had kept that stuff to myself.