I posted this in the wrong meme community. Reposting here.
I’m AMAB who has always felt a little uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m decently comfortable occupying my body, but I do wish it was easier/more acceptable to transition. I had a dream last night that I was at a doctor’s office and I was starting HRT. It has put me in a funk all day.
To be honest, I consider myself fluid enough to continue identifying as a man to anyone but myself. I just wish I could live two lives. Or go back and make the decision to transition when I was younger. I am a stereotypical guy: hairier than not, chubbier than not, deep brow, gnarled hands, etc. I don’t really think I could ever feel truly “woman enough” to feel comfortable trying out the other side of the gender spectrum. I’ve tried growing my hair, piercing my ears, and wearing a teeny bit of eye liner, but it just never looked right on me. I just looked a bit weird.
I’m venting here to hopefully deal with the funky vibes my dream gave me. I’ve never been this open with any audience: virtual or physical. So, apologies if this is coming off a bit transphobic in any way.
I mean I’m not surprised you didn’t feel better with those, it’s like a limited taste. And not a full taste either. Idk it really is never too late to start. I think the hardest part is realistic expectations, you can either work with what you’ve got or you can keep pushing it down until you’re even older
That is a haunting last sentence. But you’re probably right.
I think that before the Internet you could go longer without thinking about a lot of this stuff but with how are media works? it’ll be constantly on your mind.
Yeah and it has been constantly on my mind since my original post.
Yeah, once you actually know what you need to keep mulling it over is to just give yourself less time to have it.