Language around trans people and gender has changed a lot since I started my journey, not always for the better IMHO. For context I am a trans man.
AMAB/AFAB comes to mind. I think these terms are highly inappropriate and reductive. Think “AFAB-run hair salon” (yes, this was a real thing… tell me this doesn’t give TERF energy)
However, I have noticed that a lot of nonbinary people introduce themselves in this way. (“I’m afab nonbinary” etc.) I don’t understand the logic of introducing yourself with the gender you were assigned at birth.
The way I think of it is, if I were nonbinary, then I am rejecting the gender that was assigned to me at birth, so why would I make that gender one of the first things I reveal about myself? This is an honest question; I really don’t mean any offence.
The other interesting pair are “transmasc” and “transfem”. In the past 2 years I have had to tell several people to stop referring to me as “transmasc”. I have never described myself as such and never will. It really pisses me off. People just assume that it’s OK to call someone that because it’s an “inclusive” term.
I feel like these terms are applicable only in the context of talking about medical transition pathways, irrespective of identity. But in social contexts, it doesn’t make sense. It feels like a superficially more polite version of AFAB/AMAB.
I have little in common with a nonbinary person who hasn’t and does not want to undergo any kind of medical intervention. So why lump us into the same category with a word like “transmasc”?
Maybe I’m going crazy, but it feels like people are trying so hard to tiptoe in their use of language that it circles right back to bioessentialism and calling people something based on the gender they were assigned at birth.
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I misunderstanding something?
EDIT: if anyone feels that I can be more tactful with my phrasing of any of the above, then please let me know so I can fix it. I’m only after other people’s opinions and experiences to inform my own.
People focusing too much on AGAB is something that bothers me too, but I don’t mind the terms themselves too much in situations where AGAB is actually relevant. Which isn’t that often. And I also like to use phrases like “people who went through male puberty” in cases where that more accurately describes what I mean.
I like transfem/transmasc because they’re more general terms and include more than just binary trans people. To me “transfem” is essentially a superset of “trans woman” and as a trans woman myself I usually don’t mind it being used for me. I am transfem, but I agree that it’s inappropriate to use that word in a context where you can just use “woman” instead. It’s similar for “trans woman”, if the “trans” part isn’t relevant, just say “woman”.