I feel that hard. It didn’t come out of nowhere, it came out of me exhausting every alternative I grasped for despite knowing full well that it would always end here. And of course the signs were all easy to brush off like me hating being photographed, I saw how people who violated gender expectations were treated. And especially I saw how trans women were treated in society. Why the fuck would I have been open about having these thoughts until I was damn sure? I spent a lot of my teen years trying to stay safe and wantable while also trying to push those boundaries and see what I could get away with