this is gonna be a short one, trust me! >o< (im trustworthy, see my pfp waving to you… yes its waving!!!)
there is no content warning, this is all child-friendly content.
i - wow. i was playing a game to get my mind off of things. (playing osu… a game which needs quite the amount of realtime attention)
but then i thought of my crush a smol bit. not much, nothing spicy, nothing special, literally just us and another friend sitting and having tea.
but then!!! evil and selfish and uncontrollable as my thoughts are - i imagined them asking me something!!! >o< aaaa ohgosh.
wasnt even anything big, wasnt even like - exciting or anything. but!
my - (this sounds weird) my tummy and pelvis started like - bubbling and buzzing like crazy. like crazy. like - crazy.
its like roller coaster riding but only the part where u go straight down but without the gut-wrenching feeling and more positive and this might still be an understatement honestly.
i lost the level because i was pulling my hands off of the keyboard as i was - involuntarily squirming back and forth on the chair, moving away from the desk… this really does sound weird.
like - i had to actively distract myself to get it to stop. it wasnt a horny thing, it was very different.
(for anyone caring: am on hrt for 2 months)
wowie zowie. anyway, am i allowed to post stuff like this here, or is this maybe not the right place?
also, i hope u have a lovely day <3
i think u got it exactly right.
the frosting feeling does hit similarly, yeah… well now im worried that those feelings really were horny oh no…
i was kinda hoping that it would be like a romantic thing… or maybe its just being rewired cuz hrt doin stuff and actively confusing things.
then again, i *also get similar feels in a kinda situation u also described so maybe its like - it shows up multiple places.
it could be a romantic thing too. like your crush makes you feel horny. that would be pretty normal i think :3
i-… applebusch. listen.
i dont like to fantasize about mx crush cuz it feels so awfully wrong and evil and disgusting and selfish.
so when you tell me this with a “:3” i just - i got really mad cuz i dont want to think of them that way, u see?
i didnt want to hear what u said, i dont want it to be true. and maybe it is not true, cuz… peoples feelings are dufferent and stuff…
im too sensitive about this stuff, i know, but… im sorry, i overreacted, but i wanted to let u know why.
nononono o its not horny!!! >o< no! No! No! no! no! its NOT!
no its not. theres no way that it is. it really didnt feel that way and i kinda know what the new horny feels like now, and nono, that was different. yes, it sounds like it is horny, thats why i said “it sounds weird” cuz it really dies sound like it - but its not! >o<
i didnt get the physical response u would assume under those conditions. so i will plug my ears, say “lalalala” and believe that this truly is a wonderful, pure, awesomely girly romantic feeling and nothing disgusting or horny or lustful or anything ew like that.
cuz i dont think about my crush that way.