Someone at work that used to be my direct manager had a meeting with me to introduce themselves. They didn’t recognize me at all and I didn’t want to out myself by disclosing who I was, so I went along with it.
I don’t like lying, and when they asked about my work history I was honest even though it created immediate suspicion (how could we have not worked together given when I started working and my job experience?), and I just shrugged. It’s obviously a kind of deception to not out myself, and I don’t like that - but my instincts say it’s better in this context to not out myself.
Probably relevant to the context is that the boss is male, older, conservative, and an immigrant from a non-Western culture that is not open minded about these things.
I am pretty sure based on things they have said in the past that they wouldn’t be tolerant of a trans person.
Anyway, to my trans elders: how have you handled situations like this?
I wish I had more than that. People I’ve volunteered with haven’t recognized me, but simply continuing whichever project we’re working on has been enough to continue existing in that space. In the end, you have the option of shining a spotlight on yourself or allowing it to meander unfocused around the stage. They likely have other things to do, given the panic I’m hearing about from everyone I know, so there’s no rush whatsoever in making your presence known.