transcription: saying “male to female” instead of just trans woman is like referring to fully grown people as “baby to adult”. ahh… so you used to be a baby??? are you telling be you were BORN a baby… but then… hormones turned you into an adult? nice try. giant baby

  • noughtnaut@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    As a cis person subscribing to this (in order to be a better human and “ally”), I just want to quickly thank you all for having these conversations in public. I get that OP’s post was humour, but reading the finer points (and personal variations) is incredibly enlightening. Thank you.

  • Blibly@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Or how about just WOMAN and leave it at that? I didn’t transition to be trans, ya know…

    • in_my_honest_opinion@piefed.social
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      1 day ago

      Yeah, I just refer to people as their preferred pronouns? Like it’s pretty easy. I just have to repeat what they tell me. If I don’t know their pronouns I just use the ancient secret technique of calling them by their name…crazy I know.

      • alapakala@quokk.au
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        1 day ago

        piefed user in_my_honest_opinion knowledgeable on the way to refer someone by name pleases ✕⍯ greatly. Perhaps form strong bond continued grammar over? 🤜🫷

    • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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      1 day ago

      I just don’t know any scenario where anyone would specify trans woman or male to female unless someone was self identifying on the internet.

      I think I have the equivalence of facial blindness for gender, so I really know not to make assumptions greater than something like dresses are usually worn by people presenting as feminine. But then again I am really out of touch with fashion, so I’m not even totally confident about that.

      Maybe some people make a habit of clocking people in public? But I honestly don’t know how anyone goes about doing so with any confidence. A while ago people were using their pronouns when introducing themselves at my work and that was soo helpful for me, now I just avoid pronouns all together unless people use them in front of me first.

  • Omega@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    To me it’s like the wording “you’re a man who became a woman.” It’s offensive for many reasons, but I think the biggest reason why it’s so offensive is because at the end of the day, you still called me a man. If you were saying that I’m “a woman who used to be a man”, it would still be deeply inaccurate, but much less offensive, because, well, at least you’re calling me a woman this time around.

    Either way, no matter how you say it, this obsession with what I used to be according to you is not only offensive, but it is kinda creepy. I am what I told you that I was.

  • [object Object]@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    I use trans man/woman now, but when I was learning about trans people that description was helpful for me to get the direction/terminology right.

    I had a lot of things to learn. In hindsight, yeah, it’s really obvious. But I get confused by obvious things other people just get very easily (like it took me a while to figure out why we don’t start counting stuff at zero).

    • four@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      I remember being confused about it as well, thinking that “trans man” means someone who used to be a man, but is trans, so you apply “trans” to “man” and you get “trans man” (I might be autistic?). I was like “if a ‘man’ transitioned already, why do we say trans woman instead of just woman??” I now understand it more and it kinda makes sense, but I was really stumped for some time.

      why we don’t start counting stuff at zero

      I might have the right career for you lol

    • Same. Given how much of the conversation about trans people are influenced by cis people who don’t understand trans people, how am I supposed to know if “trans man/woman” is the way trans people refer to themselves or cis people being transphobic?

  • Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    Yeah i dont like to be referred to by being trans. Its like referring to me by an event that happened to me. And one thats been unpleasant. It doesnt define me

  • Saapas@piefed.zip
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    1 day ago

    I think “male to female” can be helpful in telling what they transitioned from to what. Trans woman might confuse someone in that they wouldn’t know if the person transitioned to or from woman.

    • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      For future reference trans woman=woman, trans man=man, both referring to the person as they are in the present.

      “From what to what” doesn’t really apply to a person whose soul/self has always been the same gender even though their body parts didn’t align.

      And only use “trans woman” or “trans man” if their transition experience is the subject of the conversation. .

      Otherwise, leave the past in the past and use woman or man like you would for yourself.

      This will also help you avoid offending cis people who just happen to have atypical features and body shape.

      • Saapas@piefed.zip
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        1 day ago

        I remember what trans womand and trans man means, but I don’t think many instinctively do

    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Does it matter? Why not just “woman”?

      Trans if they are proud of that and want it to be known, but I don’t think most people want to necessarily broadcast what they were before, just what they are now and maybe that they are part of minority community that has been disrespected historically but that they feel proud to represent.