• Jankatarch@lemmy.world
    34·
    8 hours ago

    She is gonna be so embaressed when she finds out her husband is just an amish guy from a catholic, co-ed experimenting, all-girls highschool, who’s always prepared to jog into the rescue of his alzheimer’s patient mother to the point he covertly uses adrenaline injections daily just in case; and once had his dick stolen by a gynecologist who holds it hostage so the the husband has to regularly test experimental deodorant patches and sell smuggled hair-gel for lease money, with which he can rent his 7-inch penis back for one night every 4 months.
    He has the box of dildos because he’s secretly gay.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      63·
      1 day ago

      Oh god, I’m going to have to be the Old Trans explaining why everyone else’s guesses on this one are wrong, lmao.

      Back In The Day, before prosthetic soft penises (‘packers’) were widely available and cheap, a common substitute was to take a condom and fill it with hair gel. I never did it, but it was a tip around the time I came out in the mid 00s (although by then it was already starting to fade out in favor of silicone packers used today, it was mostly an affordability thing at that point). These weren’t for sex, it’s just to have something in your pants during your normal day that’s penis shaped.

      • andros_rex@lemmy.worldOP
        32·
        1 day ago

        Ah, that makes far more sense than the T-gel explanation. Probably a more realistic feel than the balled up socks.

        Here’s an ad for a packer from the same issue of the magazine.

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          23·
          1 day ago

          Oof, yeah, $45 in the 90s (? E: yeah, just saw '97 on your OP!) was a nonstarter for a lot of trans men! Condoms and hair gel were way cheaper in the short term.

          Also Jesus Christ, I thought $40 for a binder now was highway robbery! $85?! That thing better be embroidered with gold.

          • ItWasTheDNS@lemmy.world
            11·
            1 day ago

            And being sold out of Conroe Texas is wild - it still is a very yeehaw area north of Houston now and would have been 10x so back in the 90’s

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          181·
          1 day ago

          Water is too liquid and flowy, that’s not how flesh acts. Hair gel isn’t 1:1 either, but it’s closer and readily available. It will also take slightly longer than water to make it look like you pissed yourself if the condom pops.

          • kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            15·
            1 day ago

            The thought of a hair gel water balloon that lives on your crotch terrifies me. I’m glad there are better options available now~

        • jrTug_2T@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          5·
          1 day ago

          Same as DIY breastforms, I would suspect; the squash ‘n’ stretch doesn’t work as well with water as it does with something thicker.

    • cmbabul@slrpnk.net
      3·
      1 day ago

      Could a trans man do a favor for a cis brother out here and explain the hair gel thing? My adhd curiosity is trying to think of practical uses and the only thing I’ve got is pube styling, if that’s a thing no hate but sounds less than comfy

      • fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        1 day ago

        i think the other commenters got it, mistaking testosterone gel for hair gel

        fwiw i’m a trans guy and i didn’t get it. the joke i probably would have made is “8. He’s so obsessed with keeping his shoulders clean, he regularly slathers them in hand sanitizer and keeps you away from them.” every t gel i’ve ever used is almost indistinguishable from hand sanitizer lol. but maybe that’s how hair gel in the 90s worked