I think you’re just not high enough. I’m serious. When you are good and high the problem is that you are too enthusiastic and energetic.
Yes, drugs. But there’s better.
Healthy food. Art. Working out regularly. Getting sun. Meditation. All that stuff will get you high.
This is why I like weed. It’s not so much the body feel (though that is a nice bonus), as much as it quiets my mind and allows me to have some fucking peace and quiet in my own head.
Oh yeah I remember when I felt like that for a while (approx. 20 years). Turns out it’s was some thing the doctor called “severe ADHD”
Same.
Executive dysfunction be like.
Depression can hit this way, too. You can be apathetic towards everything, no motivation, stuck in your head. It can be easy to get caught in a downward spiral, trapped in the vortex of negativity you no longer feel in control of.
The apathy is probably the worst part. Like, I know this thing I need to do is important and that not doing it will have some very negative consequences, but I just don’t care enough to do it. Then, last-minute panic sets in and I half-ass it, which is still good enough, but it hurts that I could do so much more if my brain wasn’t malfunctioning like that.
It’s hard, especially when you become aware of it. You have to try to build motivation out of what feels like nothing.
You’ve probably heard this before, but does it help breaking things into smaller steps? It’s something that really worked for me when I was having the depression slump into anxiety panic-rush.
Start with something already quick and easy, and cut it into more steps. If it takes you 5 minutes, see if you can cut it into two parts. It can seem illogical, but giving yourself those little breaks can help build a mental muscle, a way of showing yourself “Hey, I can do this” without being overwhelming, and giving yourself plenty of time if you need more in-between, especially at first.
Small goals are still accomplishments, especially when it’s the best we can do, and a little victory can go a long way.
(And, of course, when/if you can, professional help can be amazing. It can suck trying to find a good doctor, but once you do, it really can change things.)
The periods of apathy never last more than a month or two, and when they’re over, I can go back to being moderately productive. But when it hits really hard, even small tasks are hard to manage. Like, imagine a young child screaming “I don’t wannaaaa” in this high-pitched voice, stomping their foot on the ground. Sometimes, that’s in my head when I try to do stuff. But it doesn’t last forever, and after a while, I’ll get things done again. Or I brute-force it, produce a half-assed “I hate myself” version of what I’m trying to do, and chip away at that until it’s acceptable. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I already try to do all that, but it’s never easy.
I was in therapy for almost two years (with breaks because therapists take time off, too), but other than a handful of phrases that come in handy every once in a while, I don’t think it was all that useful. I’m still glad I did it because now I don’t have to wonder “what if.” Maybe CBT wasn’t the right approach for me, or maybe a different therapist would’ve been better, but finding a good one can take years with how long their waiting lists are.
The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that it won’t always be like that, and that this is just a phase. Sure, it’s a cycle, just like the moon, and the bad times will return. But the good times are fun. That’s what I always try to remember.
It’s definitely a struggle. Personally even small steps I find are hard to do sometimes. Little motivation. Feeling overwhelmed at the world around me as things go out of my control.
Some days I’ll feel a bit better and be able to get some stuff done. Others I’m just so apathetic and don’t feel like doing anything at all.
Depression sucks.
[waves from the bottom of the vortex]
Been me the past couple weeks. Why bother eating. I’m not hungry and don’t feel like it. Why bother getting off the couch, I’ve been here for the last 36 hours and it’s not like something’s magically happened that’s worth getting up for. Why even bother killing myself, if I just lay here long enough it’ll happen eventually
Overwhelmed yet frozen in place, unable to act. That has certainly been the mood as of late
This is literally me
