Hey girls and friends!
I am kinda timid even if I really like social contact, and for most of my life I have mostly had guy friends. I guess it’s because it’s easier to approach and be approched by guys when you whole body says that you are a guy… Also I was a student in computer science so there are mostly guys. Essentially my close-friends group is mostly trans girls and non-binary AFAB and guys. It’s been a bit of an anxiety of mine that cis women wouldn’t see me as a woman, but as a kinda creepy guy…
This week I contacted an old girl-friend of mine from Highschool and suggested that we had a drink since we hadn’t seen each other in years. I also came out by message. The discussion at the bar was great and it was basically the first time that a cis woman welcomed me into womanhood. She discussed about how being a woman was awesome and that I will love it. This is so great. I have essentially never had a AFAB person tell me how womanhood is great, only about how bad it is.
Yesterday I attended another social event and the few girls there also treated me as one of their own. So yay, I place this week under the umbrella of “Being accepted by cis girls” and I love it! Much acceptance and validation <3
How’s it for you? How was your week?
I just want to say that I’m so happy for you!
Also I was a student in computer science
There needs to be a study about this.
probably something about shared genetic etiology between neurodivergence and gender dysphoria:
the G allele in STS is associated with reduced enzyme levels; this has been noted mostly in studies of ADHD (41), a condition with fivefold increased incidence of gender dysphoria (42), suggesting a possible overlap in etiology.
here’s a link to citation 41
and a link to citation 42
either it’s about transistors being trans-isters or sth
or - as i believe - it is because IT guys tend to have fewer muscles which makes them naturally a bit more girly, so the tendency is higher
ofc i also read some other wild conspiracy theories, like:
noble men in the medieval ages had a higher chance of being trans/fem because: they had to entertain diplomatic missions, and “diplomacy is made in the sheets”, which means, a higher tendency to go to bed with others will make them more attractive as somebody to make alliances with. but since they also had to organize some stuff (bureaucracy and stuff) that created a natural correlation between neurospicy and gender queer.
All I heard was diplomats get cute femmes, sign me up.
Hello!
It’s been a bit of an anxiety of mine that cis women wouldn’t see me as a woman, but as a kinda creepy guy…
I have the same worry, despite great experiences like yours being accepted. Here’s what I tell myself:
Having grown up around men being creepy to and about women, it’s natural to be a bit wary. But that’s not you. I’ve met quite a few pre-transition MTF people now, some of whom appeared very masculine, and it’s immediately apparent that it’s a non-threatening interaction. I guess it’s unconscious body language, or something like that. Men being creepy tend to seek attention from women as a man.
Anyway, there’s a group of women friends I meet up with from time to time (since well before I hatched) who were the first non-family I came out to. They’re so accepting and affirming, I usually end up in happy tears at the end of the evening.
Still (probably irrationally) scared of using the women’s bathroom in case I make someone uncomfortable, though.
I’ve met quite a few pre-transition MTF people now, some of whom appeared very masculine, and it’s immediately apparent that it’s a non-threatening interaction. I guess it’s unconscious body language, or something like that. Men being creepy tend to seek attention from women as a man.
Kinda curious how often women suspect men are gay because they don’t see as threatening as other men.
I know what you mean. Sad, though, that it’s such an easy assumption to make, and reinforces toxic masculinity.
One of the most wholesome things on the internet is being able to see all the trans joy in spaces such as these.
Good for you, and may all trans people find such joy :)
With all going on in the world, and we need not name specifics, being able to spot silver lined moments like this is essential to a life that lends itself to stopping to smell the roses. I fear that is something that is easy to overlook in a chaotic world such as ours. Good on you for noticing and pointing it out, I can only hope to emulate.
All I really have to say in response is this:
I totally understand your concerns, and they are completely valid, I worry about the same sorta shit constantly
HOWEVER
it seems evident by recent events that you are more accepted than you think. You don’t have to do anything. The only thing you have to do is be yourself, and the people that fw you will come around. And anyone that has a problem isn’t someone you should give a fuck about anyway
being accepted by other women is one of the best parts of transition, tbh - I know not every transfem feels this way, but for me growing up being perceived as male by other women was painfully alienating, and I didn’t get along with other boys that well.
Finally being seen as a woman (and thus treated as one) somehow just feels so right and normal, and it’s like I’m finally able to integrate with society.
My friend has cis women interested in her